I’m a first-time mom and trying not to lose my mind over the RTO announcement. My baby is exclusively breastfeeding and outright refuses a bottle, so the idea of being in the office five days a week feels impossible. Am I just supposed to let my baby go hungry if she doesn’t adjust, or risk losing my job if I can’t make it in? I have so many feelings about this, if anyone’s been in this situation and survived, please tell me how!

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I would recommend reaching out to any mothers at your agency who were around pre-covid and ask for their advice. Plenty of agencies before 2020 either did not allow telework or only allowed partial telework, so while it is certainly unfortunate in your circumstances, generations of female federal employees have gone through this before today and there should be plenty at your agency who can give you tips and advice for how to navigate the situation.

likefunnysmart

Generations of women also failed to maintain breastfeeding. Rates of success are higher internationally because mothers are afforded that flexibility and reasonable time off. Not too long ago, federal workers had no parental leave. Doesn’t make that ok.

likesmart

Talk to your supervisor about RA options. The OPM memo has a RA carve out.

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Reasonable accommodation

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My wife breastfed both children for a year while going into the office. She pumped.

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My 2nd kid did not drink a sip from a bottle before he went to daycare. We tried everything and he flat out refused. He broke down his 3rd day at daycare and it was smooth sailing after that. Kids are adaptable and resilient. It will be ok. We did buy 9 brands of bottles before we found one that works. I pumped and BF both kids until 18mo.

Day care workers have coaxed other babies through the transition before yours and your baby will be in good hands. They may even have recommendations on which bottle brands to try if needed.

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Do you have daycare offered by your firm or your client site?

I’m not taking it as OP is working with the infant present (except perhaps with a nanny/home care?), but rather pumping frequently and being nearer to the infant is the only thing allowing to make her situation work.

But the point of all these RTO efforts isn’t to fix the federal government. It’s to break it, and anyone who is perceived as “weak” or is different.

Legally, they have to allow you space and time to pump breast milk. Idk how to get your little one to get used to a bottle, but, as someone else said, maybe you can communicate with other mothers in your workplace and get some advice/tips.
Wishing you the best. 🙂

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