I’m a teacher at the end of the school year, and I bought small gifts for my students using my own money. The problem is that some students have shown repeated behavior issues this year, including bullying, abusive language toward classmates, inappropriate physical behavior, and, calling me names.

Part of me wants to be fair and avoid drama by giving gifts to everyone. Another part of me feels uncomfortable rewarding students whose behavior has harmed others, disrespected me. What should I do?

I’m a former/retired teacher and remember this conflict within myself about rewarding bad behavior. Just a thought- I used to provide common small gifts for all but presented special awards for others citing specific good qualities in those that worked especially hard and respected others. This was truly inexpensive as it only required certificates from free printable websites and gold sticker medallions bought from office supply store. Many students returned years later to tell me how much those meant to them. Thoughtfulness does count.

Yes give them all something but give a little extra to the ones that have been good so everyone gets something if it’s little or big

I worked with behavior students for most of my teaching career and I understand your dilemma. Every student in your class should be getting an end of the year gift no matter how they behaved throughout the school year. Students can not be excluded or punished at the end of the year by not getting a gift for something that happened days, weeks, or months again. The student should only lose privileges or be reprimanded for an inappropriate behavior when it happens. The student will not understand why they are the only one not getting a gift at the end of the year. If one student can’t get a gift then the whole class cannot get gifts as well. I hope this helps.

I personally would distribute gifts evenly, even among the bullies. It helps send a more important message of inclusion and charity.

As I understand your conflick …please remember those students may be going thru something at home and you are their comfort zone. Give everyone the same thing amd the extra a certificate. You may be surprised on how they value you. Even the hard ones. 💜🙏🏼good luck in your choice.

The last thing you should do IMO is buy students "small gifts." Give them a party, yes. Take them on a field trip, yes. Buy a box of chocolates, yes. But gifts, no.

I had this same situation happen to me a few years ago teaching third grade. I gave all my students the same end of year gift and we had a fun beach themed last day of school. I made special awards myself for the kids who were very well behaved in class and I made sure to let their parents know how well behaved they were! I did however during the course of the year let the parents of the students who were not well behaved know about their child’s behavior and how it affected their learning as well as the overall classroom environment.

What are small gifts? I've been in schools where the students earned "bucks", which is play money. At the end of the week or month, they were allowed to buy small gifts with the bucks. So if a kid earned 5 bucks they could get a $5 doll, and if a kid earned $2 bucks, they could get a $2 truck....like that.

Just stop gift giving all together. First, they never appreciate whatever you get. Second, they’ll never remember it down the road. Eventually in my school it became a competition amongst teachers for who have the better gift. It gets out of hand and honestly what did a student do to warrant a gift from you. You, on the other hand, are most deserving of a gift. Most parents see this and will acknowledge you in the past. I’ve gotten parents who have given us their home at the beach for a week. I’ve gotten all day spa treatments at a local spa. I’ve gotten dinner for two and a Broadway show tickets from parents. They know you deserve everything you get.

Oof this is tricky. Learning accountability and consequences is important, but also being shown love can go a long way. Personally I feel like daily prizes (such as stickers for little kids) should just be awarded to those who earned it, but an end of year gift sounds like something that maybe everyone would get. If you don’t phrase it as a prize or reward but a gift, then behavior challenges are irrelevant