I'm currently childfree, but the pressure around having kids and my biological clock ticking has been heavy from my family's side of late. The worst part is that I know that my mom is making some good points about not having the energy as I age. I avoid calls from her now :D. To the moms on the bowl, how old were you when you had your first child? Did life change a lot, or after you had your child, did you wish you had done it way earlier?

One thing I didn’t notice in your post is you desiring to have children. Is it something you even want? No judgement but don’t let others dictate such a life altering decision.

I just had my first at 31 and I think it was the perfect time for me. But like someone said above it definitely depends on your life circumstances. I spent my 20s partying, traveling, and working hard to get in a good spot financially. Now I’m enjoying relaxing and being a homebody with my child!

I am 36 and I kept delaying having a child as I wanted to grow in my career and thought once I achieve a certain level/ salary we can give the child a better life but I will definitely agree on biological clock as it’s been a year we have been trying and no success yet. Looking back I wish I had tried sooner as with age energy level drops, AMH level and progesterone levels. So if you think you are ready to have a family then go ahead.

Absolutely life changing. First at 33, second at 37. Do I wish I had done it sooner? No, because I wouldn’t have the partner I have now as their father. And with him, I could not do it. Everyone’s lives look different and that’s okay.

I was 36 when I had my first kid. It totally changed my body and my life. I actually tell myself all the time I am so glad I didn’t spend my 20s or even my early 30s on this lifestyle. Before having kids I worked super hard, partied, traveled all the world, and really invested in my friendships and partner. That made me feel like I was “ready” to have kids as I had already achieved and experienced so much. I am sure my body didn’t bounce back as well as a 20 something, but it seems to me that my friends who had babies in their 20s just experienced the mom body way sooner. Approaching 40 with my new “mom body” doesn’t feel so devastating. Also I think no matter what age you become a mom at you are just so tired all the time, might as well be a touch more tired because you are older LOL. Everyone my age seems to want to go to bed a 9 whether they have kids or not now. That being said I think becoming a mom for first time at 40 would be a lot. I plan to be done having children by 39.

While I'm not a mom myself, I've heard from many friends who've shared their experiences. Some had their first child in their early twenties, while others waited until their thirties. For most, life changed dramatically, but in wonderful ways. They often mention that having a child brought new purpose and joy but also a lot of responsibility. As for wishing they'd done it earlier, it really depends on the person. Some feel they were more prepared later in life, while others wish they'd started earlier. The key is finding the right time for you, not just based on external pressure. It's about being ready emotionally, financially, and personally. So, take your time, and when you do decide, it'll be the right moment for you!

I totally wish I had done it earlier than I did. I had my first one at 34 and everything that changed about my life, I'm sure I'd have adapted better in my 20s. But AC1 is right. You know best when you're ready.

32 for my first and 35 for my second. Only thing I wish I had done was gotten my CPA before kids. Finished school after my first was born and am now studying for it. Let me tell you, it's not easy, hopefully your mom is able to help! Thankful for remote work in this field which makes things a bit easier on me.

I had my first at 32 and then waited a bit for my second. Only you know when the time is right, but I honestly wish I would have started sooner.

I had my first at 30 and I do think envy women who had kids in their 20s because many of them recover faster and it’s easier on the body. Unless you’re really healthy and fit, then age isn’t as much of a factor. In hindsight, I do wish I had put more effort into my health before having kids cause losing weight postpartum in your 30s (at least for me!) has been a challenge.

Becoming a mom is life changing and is an adjustment but it’s so worth it! You figure it out as you go 😊

I was almost 32 when I had my first. But it took almost 3 years to have a successful pregnancy. Life changed drastically, and while I was more prepared for it at 32, I wish our kids had come when we were younger. I really wanted 3 but with all of my issues and being a little older, we ended up with 2. You do you but if you decide to wait till you’re older, maybe check in with your doctor to make sure everything is good in that area.

for a alternative perspective, look up kelleydaring on tiktok (:

Had my first at 29. It seemed like the best time for my family but as said before, your life will change in ways you never expected (good and bad). I do wish sometimes we waited a little longer to have kids so that we could enjoy more time as just husband and wife. However, I also recognize that the recovery and energy level I have now may be different in a few years so from that perspective the timing was perfect. If you feel ready mentally, financially, and have a support system, that’s way more important than age.

First one at 29, second at 31. I wish I had them earlier but my husband had to be ready himself and I didn’t want to pressure him too much. Pros and cons right? Have more energy supposedly because you’re younger vs having money and being further into your career. You know when you’re ready and whether time is actually running out. Your mother nor anyone here can tell you otherwise.

I just had my first at 30 and I think it was perfect for our family. We wanted to be financially ready since that was a big factor our family’s struggled with when we were young. I spent my 20’s in my career, partying, traveling, etc. While you can do this with kids it’s honestly very hard, I now find myself feeling okay with putting my career on pause to raise my kid more, traveling is a lot harder, while not impossible, you can’t just pick up and go, and you don’t have a want to be drinking out past late hours since you have a kid to care for in the mornings. While a lot of people who have kids young say they’ll be finished sooner, I always think you’ll always be a parent and who will want to be partying in their 40s like you would’ve in your 20s.
I will say though, being a mom is the coolest experience, the joy you feel and the butterflies when they do cute stuff or say cute stuff i would have never imagined pre babies!

Have kids if you want them and only when you feel it's right for your unique life. Don't let anyone pressure you into a different decision.

I was 38 and wish I had started earlier. I started trying at 36 and had a lot of problems conceiving. Tried to have a second and was not able to have a successful pregnancy, even with IVF. Whatever money I had by focusing on career was spent on infertility treatments. My life did change dramatically for the better though with my one.

I had my first at 34 and I’m on track to have my second at 36. I’m definitely tired lol but it is manageable (and I don’t know what it would have felt like at 25).

The time needs to be right for you and the best thing you can do is take care of yourself now. While women do have more challenges after 35 on conceiving, many women still conceive naturally with no or minimal intervention so while you may be more likely to need intervention or be high risk that is not a given.

The offset of having a child in my 30s has been I am much more financially stable and we were able to travel and enjoy the things in life that are harder now prior to having children.

Before I respond I would ask if becoming a mom is something that you wish for yourself. It can be rewarding and challenging, thankless, and stressful. Then add in the other issues that come with work, changes in relationship dynamics (platonic and romantic, loss of purely personal time, etc. I can appreciate that your family is anxious to be an aunty, uncle, grandparent but you are the one who will carry, deliver, and nurture the child.

Now that I’m off my soapbox, I had my son at 21. I ended up parenting solo for a number of years while holding down 2 jobs and going to school full time. It was a worthwhile struggle. Although I was low on funds. I had lots of energy- which I needed to juggle all the balls and not let any hit the floor. I am now nearing 50 and married. My son is an adult and I am able to laser focus on my career.

I don’t know that there is ever a perfect time as we all have different priorities and perspectives.

I would recommend that you consider the full cost (financial and non financial factors) and determine which path works best for your situation.

Best of luck!

As someone on the “other side” —my “kids” are in their 30s— as you can tell from all the responses there is no right answer. We were younger when we had kids. Yes, we didn’t have a lot of years pre kids to do things—but the flip is having an empty nest when you aren’t THAT old 🤣 and can enjoy life. Ours were out of college when friends still had middle schoolers.