I’m currently on mat leave and so having lots of time listening to podcasts. I came across one where she was talking about setting boundaries at work. My work typically is meetings all day long and I would usually try to find time outside of working hours to get my own work done. But the podcaster said that instead of doing this you should block your calander for your own work and protect it like your kids doctor app. Cont…

I tried being ruthless in the past to protect my time but have caved in multiple times and accepted meeting invites because of the inherent fear. Before having kids it was fine but after having kids I really don’t want to be working outside of working hours all the time. My goal is to ultimately reduce this habit and only work if making time for things like appts and such that take time during the day.
So my qs to you all who are successfully able to ruthlessly protect your time : how do you do it ? How do you not cave ? How do you not fear in declining meeting invites, esp if it’s involving clients or senior leadership?? What’s your strategy to protect your focused time blocks ?

So I’ll begin by saying this obviously depends upon your seniority.
I was an EM and a single parent. My kick off rules to my team and partners were:
1) do not send me invites to my diary using scheduling assistant and not checking if the time works for me. An open slot doesn’t mean I’m available for you. If a blind invite pops up it will be declined for sure.
2) I’m unavailable before 9am and from 3-4pm. School drop off and pickups. Dinner I was flexible on. Depended on the day. I made sure everyone had clear instructions on what to work on when they started their day, whether it was 7am for them or 9am etc. that also meant till 10am I was undisturbed.
3) I reviewed everyone’s outputs from 8-11pm. That was my quiet time with my kid and clients asleep lol. I sent feedback detailed enough to keep the team busy the next day.
4) I kept a good relationship with all my partners. They knew my situation. And I only worked with those who were considerate. They usually audio called me directly on my phone if needed to avoid zoom fatigue.
5) I was a “benevolent dictator”. For juniors, that meant I was kind to you while expecting a super high quality work so my time isn’t wasted reworking or answering questions they shud be able to answer.
6) I protect my time and yours. My team mates would eventually follow my routine. They loved not being required before 9 and getting some downtime 3-4 for the gym or to do focused work. Same for my dinner hours. It worked well for us all.
7) It’s easier to stick to your boundaries 100% of the time than 99% of the time.if you move one boundary once they’ll think oh it’s actually flexible. I once left a senior partner call at 3pm on the dot while he was speaking. No issue. He had been told before I need to leave and that was that.

All in all, don’t be a people pleaser. Don’t let any guilt get to you. If you want to do well at this job and parenting, you’ll need to aggressively prioritise and ensure your team is a well oiled machine.

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Advice like that is easy to give and a lot more challenging to implement for most on this board that are working more demanding jobs and are less senior. Personally (big 4 in a consulting group) - I do have standing blocks on my calendar before 9 and 5-8 (when I’m covering the kids) and from 11-1 (focus work / lunch / gym) depending on the day. 11-1 I will give on to schedule meetings that matter but otherwise I keep it. But there’s no escaping that a job like this is in no way a 9-5 and needing to log on after the kids are down happens more often than not if I want to be effective managing my teams and keeping projects and pursuits moving.

In 2025 most people get it if you won’t take calls in the early mornings or early evenings if you’re taking care of your kids - but I do frequently have to decline and reschedule things.

I’ll say that becoming a parent (3x now) has forced me to be much better at prioritizing how I spend time and effort at work. I’m more focused on what’s critical to drive impact whether it be for a project, pursuit or team than my old self that would try to take on everything and anything I was asked to do - if it’s not important I’m not going to spend effort or time on it.

Marking this for now to comment in detail later (sorry)

As above - I pre block the morning drop
Off and bedtime routines.

You don’t have to say it’s for kids if you don’t want to, you can just say you’ve a clash at that time and need to move it. Those blocks are already technically outside of “regular” hours, so it should also make the person scheduling think twice about booking at that time because they saw it was blocked. I

f you need to reschedule someone who has already tried to book out of regular office hours I often offer back 7:30pm. I’m on east coast. This is when my kids have gone to bed. If someone is willing to schedule a 5:30 or 6:30 meeting they have already told you by that action that they ain’t got boundaries, so they can do 7:30 if they really want to do it. Or they can pick a time that’s available the next day.

I work across timezones and I’ve not had issue with this. Global roles and companies expect to work around timezones - 7:30pm for me is 4:30pm for my west coast team so that’s a pretty fair proposal back to them!

I had no boundaries before kids and worked every hour of the day. Now I’m ruthlessly prioritising what I need to do to be there for them. And I’m in the office 5 days a week! If I need to log on for an hour after bed I don’t mind! But the bedtime and morning hours are protected for the most part.

I do exactly what the other folks are saying. Block morning. Lunch and dinner/bedtime. But I recently started to block fridays after 12 pm off as well and it’s been a life changing experience. I only allow meetings on Fridays if they are extremely important and no later than 3pm.

Any calls that need to happen at 5-7.. I push to 7:45pm to give myself time to eat after bedtime. Putting Three kids to bed is not easy.

Block me time — sleep in, nap, go to gym, be free during kid pick up and for driving to activities, time to work on x, time to prep for y, time to review z.

Thanks everyone !