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I’m in a similar situation and with the questionable job market. I’ve had to try and make the best of it. I figure could be worse - I could be without a job ya know - especially nowadays. I’m trying to grow as a professional while working under not so great conditions. I think it’s teaching me how to work successfully under a manager who is controlling. I think it’s common to come across this mentality in the workplace. Maybe I can teach him something too. I’m trying to be as positive as I can in an environment that is not so pleasant. Hang in there to anyone who is struggling in a not so pleasant environment.
It’s so hard to work under a micromanager as an admin or other support person. We are usually people pleasers and our confidence can be boosted by your boss and those we support having confidence and faith in your work. But we all will find ourselves, at some point in life, in a less than ideal work situation dealing with difficult people. Administrative Assistant 2 touched on the right track with “teaching me how to work successfully under a manager” who may clash with your work style. Find resources online or at your local library on working with different people and personalities. There’s usually whole sections at the library dedicated to navigating professional relationships. Use this as an opportunity to grow professionally and personally so when the job market turns around, if you still want to leave, you will feel confident in doing so.
Ugh OP, I feel your pain :( I worked under someone like that for a little over a year before I finally left. I kept reminding myself that this behavior was a reflection on them, their insecurities, their control issues, their lack of self-awareness etc. It does help a little in the moment, but it doesn't prevent being worn down over time. If you have an opportunity to work under someone else, take it.
This is exactly the same thing that is happening to me. Has really undermines my confidence. It's terrible. I've been looking for another position for almost 2 years so it's agony to deal with this day after day. It's exhausting too.
it's funny you mention she began taking away your work, mine did the same. there were days when I would wonder why was I even there anymore. I hope the best for you. don't let them get to you. it's hard. kind of makes you wonder why they bother hiring anyone else if they're just going to treat them that way.
One of my old bosses would frequently take my meticulously crafted meeting notes, already distributed to the team, and rewrite them. I'd even double-check for accuracy before sending. It left me with a constant, nagging feeling that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't seem to do anything right in their eyes.
I know all to well what you are going through.
Been there! One thing that helps (in a way) is to remind yourself that you are dealing with a seriously broken person and it's just sad that they are that insecure. True, they might be downright evil, but chances are something happened to make them that way. Remind yourself to be patient, like you're dealing with a fragile toddler (just don't get condescending, tempting as that is). Just smile and calmly reassure them that you've got this. Privately, think of yourself as their life coach and imagine that you're teaching them to relax.
I did have one manager who calmed down in a few months once she figured out that I was on her side, but honestly, that's not the norm. Set yourself a 6-month limit. If using those tools doesn't improve either the situation or how you feel about it in 6 months, realize that you may need to find a new job where they do appreciate what you have to offer. If you're good at what you do, there are people out there who will value you. In the meantime, remind yourself each day why you used to be confident in your work (people who told you that you were great, achievements, etc). Don't let this person have the power to control how you see yourself. Your fabulous cartoon shows you have a great sense of humor, so hold onto that. Best wishes!
i am in that situation right now and i get critized every day on the mistakes i made and what i wear to work. I have tried to find something else but the job market is harsh.
I feel like they really don’t like you if they do that. Time to move on. I know it’s not easy though.
it is insecurity on the managers part. I was at my job for 15yrs. my boss/owner sold the business and the new owners wife decided she wanted to be involved 24/7. I knew it was going to be tough but I remained neutral and gave her the benefit of the doubt however, after a year of her changing every little thing I had, my books, my filing system, the way I did certain things, etc, I began to shut down and would only talk to her when I absolutely had to. I kept telling myself to not be that way but every day it was something else. she would even ask my opinion on something only for her to say how it wouldn't work or how silly my opinion was or honestly, she would roll her eyes or just simply walk away and say nothing. I knew my job, I did my job and did it well, I rarely needed help from anyone. she in the other hand had never worked in this Field and did not know things so she was forced to ask she would typically ask her husband, but when he wasn't around she would say she had a question but she'd wait for him to get back.. instead of just asking me. I realized then she was insecure and jealous. she was very unprofessional but always would make remarks on hoe we all need to be professional. I would sit at my desk and roll my eyes listening to her speak on the phone, every other word was, uhhh or uhmm.. drove me crazy. anyway, I lasted 2yrs under their ownership. I didn't quit and I would have never done so, I was told they were eliminating my position! guess who does it now? I suppose I just needed to rant, lol
I am having the same issue too. The other admin girls treated my crap the first day on the job. And my supervisor, who is remote and lives in another state is best friends with them. It started with her right after my great review last year. I made a comment that maybe I could become a "Senior Senior" administrative assistant. I came in as a Senior. She said there is no other way for me to move up except for her job and no way was I ever going to take it. She started taking pieces of my in-charge of work and gave it to the newly hired admin, who is the sister-in-law of her favorite admin. Then to find out they treated the three girls before me the same way. They had either quit or our supervisor found a way to fire them. It's a pattern. They have a little click and won't allow anyone else in. She has been nit picking everything I do and even canceled our admin teams meeting today just so she didn't have to interact with me.
I guess she is trying to push me out. Just waiting until after April 15th deadline. Mind you, I have never been written up. Just might need to talk to a lawyer if she tries to get me fired. Oh the mental anguish I am in.
I understand and am grateful I found this post. I thought it was only me! My recent employer would belittle me and correct me in front of patients even. Sometimes I wasn't wrong in what I was doing, just doing it differently than she would. Criticize me and made me feel stupid everyday. I ended up on anti depressants. It was only after I wasn't working there any more that I actually realized the meds were not needed any longer. Just know it's not just you!
I also got the 'youre not doing it correctly' because you're it doing it my way! I've been doing it my way for 15+ yrs and since I'm not doing her way, it was the wrong way. I'm glad you are doing better now. it's crazy how our jobs can affect our health, how certain people can affect our health in the workplace. I'd like to believe that when at work, regardless how it's being done, as long as it gets done and done right, then that's ok. I just don't understand people who deliberately set out to make others feel bad
Well I looked for a new job ( I got a new job) and gave them a one day notice. I have no respect for at will companies.
Personally due to the fact that you are not management I would have one on one sessions (if you can) and discuss what's happening. Then make a bullet point list and email them what you went over in the meeting DOCUMENT everything. https://www.breathehr.com/en-gb/blog/topic/health-and-wellbeing/8-signs-youre-dealing-with-a-micro-manager-and-how-to-manage-them