I’m still attracted to a coworker from a job I left 2 years ago. He’s still there and I have his number. Had a random dream about him yesterday (but this isn’t all the time).

Should I reach out or is it a bad idea? It would cause gossip at my last employer if we started talking/dating. Wait for him to leave, too?

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Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Wait for the reference, reach out to catch up. Find out if he is single, be friendly and see where it goes. Let things grow organically.
Are you in the same social circle?

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Reach out to catch up. Maybe over a drink. Catch up on work and personal stuff. Invite him to a social thing with other people/friends related to his interests. E.g., comedy show, play, brewery tour, cheese making. If he joins, great. He might or might not be interested in a romantic way - you have a next step. If he doesn’t come, he is probably not interested.
Good luck!

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Side comment: I need to wait until his boss gives me a reference on my new job next week 🤣 wouldn’t want a romance to ruin a professional reference I could use for the rest of my career

likesmartfunny

Don’t stop, believin’!!!

funny

Is there any way for you to reach out, LinkedIn, social media, and/or text? I would thread lightly and make a move by flirting rather than being direct, but only if I knew he was single and reacted positively to my flirtatious hints.

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Do it

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Do it!

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I’m rooting for you OP! You’re giving a girl courage over here — if it were me, I would defintely feel it out 💪🏻 Go for it.

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He replied right away enthusiastically, but of course once I asked about scheduling he’s gone dark thus far.

Did you reach out to someone?!

Who cares if it does! You are not there any more! I’m sure he would be careful not to share!

Follow your heart!

Bang him out

If he has been thinking and dreaming about you, he will surely let you know he is happy that you reached out.

My Suggestion Go ahead and text him, introduce yourself stating you are exemployee of the company, ask for referrals for any open positions.

Start asking about your common colleagues or work place related. Automatically that will continue.

Good luck

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