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I’d argue it’s not a particularly healthy approach to debt.
Debt has uses. It is not the villain. Using your only examples, your condo and your plot of land are illiquid assets. You used liquid assets to pay into illiquid assets that you already owned. Ignoring the fact that the money you used to pay off that condo mortgage could have been invested in the market during a market tear, you didn’t even have $50k of liquidity to buy the plot of land (which is one of the worst investments one can make). In simple terms, your occupied condo financing was probably much cheaper than the vacant land financing. You could have used liquidity created by not paying off the condo mortgage to buy the land for cash. I suspect you are living at the edge of economic disaster.
You’re married, it’s not “his” debt and “my” debt. It’s “our” debt. Quit acting like roommates and get on the same page and work together. Go thru financial peace university and that will help solve a lot of your problems.
If you want a family start as soon as you can. We waited, and ended up being lucky to have just one child, after trying for 4 years.
You can meet him halfway - tell him you’re giving him a year for both of you to pay off the 50k and he can then plan a house change/rent condo plan, then you want to get pregnant. That way, baby comes at 21 months anyway
I agree with VP1 that there’s no “master planned life”. You could have your baby in a condo or make your housing sitch more stable. I just don’t like your spouse knows you want a baby in a stable house and is telling you to wait 2 years, so my suggestion is coming from a place of pushing him back somewhat the way he’s pushing you, take it with heaps of salt. I just think marriage should be a 2-way street in these situations and people gotta give way to each other… not sure how right I am
If you were like 35 I could understand not wanting to wait another couple years but at 29 I would side with your husband. That said I am also a dude so feel free to take my input with a grain of salt.
You’re all assuming OP only wants 1 kid…
..the timing of starting a family. I’ve decided I don’t want to become pregnant while living in our condo because it’s simply too small for storing baby stuff. I feel that using the equity in our paid-off condo to purchase a home now may make more sense than waiting another two years. I also think we should rent it to help with payments. We each earn about $100,000 annually, although I do have debt from another (pre-marital) property (rental).
Am I being unreasonable for wanting to prioritize buying a home sooner so we don’t continue delaying pregnancy?
I feel stressed with waiting another 2 years. He thinks it’s fine for me to have a baby here but this isn’t ideal for me at all. It’s not something I want.
I am 29 and he is 34 years old.
What if you compromise and buy 1 year in. We has a condo at first. Until kids can walk around they don’t take up that much space. Just don’t buy too much stuff. crib (we used a smaller bassinet for months before setting up crib) diaper changing area, high chair (wait to buy) and stroller is enough
No I don’t think you’re being unreasonable OP. Fwiw there’s no “perfect” time to start a family. There are plenty of couples who start families while living in condos or apartments (a 1 bd 1 ba is tough but I don’t know your living situation). Even when you move into a new house, it won’t be trivial as “buy the house and get pregnant” because you’ll also need to furnish the place, build the nursery and take care of whatever maintenance is needed. You can’t do all of that when you’re pregnant because pregnancy does generally take a toll on women. Plus all of that is a big life change all at once. Interest rates and home prices are pretty elevated right now, so the only way to make that manageable is to put a sizable down payment. I’m not exactly sure on how much you have saved up, but that could take two years regardless.
My advice would be to prioritize either your living situation or starting a family, because you’ll want some stability and familiarity. Either way, you have time on your side and there’s no need to rush into some master planned life.
Can’t advise but can share - we had a baby in a 1bdr in NY and it was totally workable until he hit about 7 months, when we would have transitioned him to his own room. We stayed until he was 2.5 years old which was a special hell in retrospect, but also it was fine while we were going through it.
Baby doesn't need much space until after 1.
If you guys want a house in about 2 years. Start trying now. In a few months you will get pregnant. In a year, give birth. By the time baby starts walking, you will move out.
When baby is under 1, they only need a little space for crib and about the same for a dresser. Put all their essentials including diapers, clothing, wipes, and so on there. Thats all they need.
Get pregnant and then it will be much easier to convince him.
Def don’t follow this advice.
You are not being unreasonable
How many sqft is ur condo?