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Unfortunately, they are likely going through something personally that they haven’t disclosed and it is affecting how they are treating you and their work. Could be a divorce, depression, or terminal diagnosis of a family member. They may not even realize the shift. I had to call my mentor out on a similar shift one time. It was just a bad period for him personally. We worked through it. This isn’t to excuse the behavior and definitely start looking, but sometimes associates underestimate just having a conversation. The partner may be blind to the shift themselves.
Agreed
I could have written this myself! I’m in an extremely similar situation, but am mid-pregnancy and will not leave and give up maternity leave benefits. What I’m trying to do is lean on some other folks I’ve done work with to try and do less with her. Also document, document, document.
Same. Even if partner is going through something serious, it has lasted more than one year, and I am looking. Close to abusive now.
Are you close to making partner? My mentor for years totally flipped a switch on me and turned into a super competitive, sharp elbowed asshole in short order once I made partner. It was and remains a real bummer, especially since we could still be very successful if we worked together, but ultimately, I think he was intimidated by my trajectory and lets that drive everything now.
Partner 3 — it was so terrifying at first, and I was just bummed. And then really frustrating. And now just stupid silly how competitive he is, as we are both equity but he’s more senior. That corrosive competitiveness thrives in big law sadly! I just don’t have the energy for it!
Trust your gut.
Continued: this is on top of significant poor management in the team generally and I feel like I’ve lost the only ally I had in senior management. For context, this team has always struggled to retain associates but I’ve never been clear why although have been thinking that I’m unhappy for some time. Time to cut my losses?
Also, it sounds like they’re trying to throw you under the bus for their own lack of management. It’s also possible they’re trying to push you out.
Are they a powerful partner with a lot of social capital within the partnership, or are they in trouble themselves?
Ask this person out to lunch(dinner too) and gauge reaction- if they say no out of the gate- you got an issue- if they say yes- see what dinner is like—-
Time for a change
Maybe get them a coffee and chat for a bit? "Hey X, Im grabbing a coffee from (starbucks). Can I get you something?" And then get them something and chat for 5-10 minutes about how you can make their life easier (aka be a better associate)?" Remember: even if they suck, you try to help. Come from a place of trying to help them.
Maybe someone smeared your name?
Are you female and the partner is male?
This happened to me, but with a senior associate. He was warm and friendly (overly so) when I was brand new and didn’t know anything. He turned into an absolute bully when I became more independent and self-sufficient with my work.
One of your associates or someone at the firm is likely talking shit and telling him lies about you
LEAVE. I supported a partner for a decade and when they turned om me it was hard and fast. After a decade, it was clear about 6 months before the end that things were changing. But the actual hard and fast was about 5 weeks from blow-up to me being out the door. Absolutely everyone was floored.
This happened to me too. Matter of time before they start counseling you out
If you're staying at the firm a couple options. 1) Talk to a more senior associate you trust (if possible) ask them how they have dealt with partners, managing expectations, follow-ups, etc.
2) Meet with the partner and tell them you are working on growing and learning in the firm. Get specifics (even if you have before). Do you want reminders? How do you want feedback? Etc.
Is it guaranteed to work... no. But you are being proactive. Make sure however they say they like to communicate you put it in an email to them. Just a friendly followup "thank you" email reiterating your conservation and appreciation for the clarity.
Good luck!!!! I have definitely been there.
I've heard the partners at my firm do this and I'm just waiting for the day! Nothing surprises me anymore.
Worked at a law firm where the owner wasn’t man enough to say this isn’t working, let’s rethink your employment. Instead he’d make your life so miserable the only option was to quit.
Making a big deal about it law employee.
My (male) boss seems to go through PMS every few weeks. Most of the time everything I do is great, but every so often when I show a bit of initiative and he goes off his nut over the silliest little things. One clear memory is when he told me to update the clients so I emailed them a letter letting them know where we were at. In our review of files I said I'd updated those clients and he blew his top because I had not showed him the email before sending it. Previously I had done the same when told to update the clients with no issue. He insisted on seeing the email I sent then said that was good, but I had to show him everything before sending it. I've been doing this job for several years, know what I'm doing, am well qualified and didn't do anything wrong (he was happy with what I sent). I just suck it up and get on with it knowing that in a few days everything will be back to normal.