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My suggestion is to find someone who understands your work and lifestyle better. Busy season has caused me to end relationships until I met my SO who has worked and knows what it is like working 80+ a week.
This! My husband works a job in a different field than ours where his hours can be long and on weekends. Never complained about my long hours while we were dating. I can’t imagine dealing with that stress on top of work stress. 🥴
There is not an exact formula, but whatever you both want to make out of it. Can you integrate him more into your life? Do you even want to? Can you see your relationship going further? You also seem concerned that while he is 10 years older, he makes less than you and doesn’t seem interested in pushing himself harder… so sounds like you have different priorities in life… so at the end of the day what keeps you together?
Ugh I just got the ick. I think a man who you’d want to hitch yourself to, and make more time for, after 6 months would be looking for ways to make your life easier, to show he can provide and be a partner to someone who is working so hard.
Pro
If he makes 50K less than you and is 10 years older, are you looking to just take care of him? Do you not want someone to provide for you?