Sometimes I wonder if my whole career was built on prestige instead of passion. I chose the firm with the biggest name, the practice area everyone said was smart, the clients that impressed other lawyers. A decade later, I’m realizing I never stopped to ask what I actually wanted. The do what impresses people mentality is hard to shake. How do you untangle real goals from the ones you absorbed in law school?

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I’ve been working really hard in therapy the past 3 years to live a life more aligned with what’s actually important. I quit M&A and went in house 2+ years ago after becoming a dad and every year since I’ve gotten closer to the life I really want. I’m so much healthier physically, mentally, and spiritually, and am so involved with my family today where in the past I just worked all the time.

Logging off today at 12 and just diving into my family and will also do self care like exercising and prayer. Gonna nap with my kids, run 5k on my treadmill, and then spend time with my wife today.

It’s not too late to make a change.

likeuplifting

4 years, I did HC/LS M&A specifically, then did 2 years as Compliance Counsel in pharma, and then moved to Product Counsel in pharma. But I’ve been in healthcare/pharma since law school so it wasn’t hard to get to my current role.

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Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek all these things; and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things shall be yours as well.

Matthew 6:31-33

likesmartfunny

Talk to a therapist or career coach

likehelpful

Hopefully you’re at least rich

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Figure out what aspect of law practice gives you enough joy to motivate you each morning to go to work.

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The good news is your prestigious firm should open doors

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Perhaps do some pro bono work in areas that may be more fulfilling.

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We have a privilege of insight, which is this: eventually, in our line of work (and it sounds like you've done it) you can have enough money that you'll be basically OK no matter what happens. What you do after that will be telling.

Honestly, and I say this with love, impressing people is a child's impulse. They're all gonna die. You're gonna die. Go find your happiness wherever it lies (especially once you've banked that money).

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Quite the contrary. Impressing people is one of the most deeply rooted aspects of social behavior at all levels. Glad you seem woke to it though. OP is just getting there, it seems.

What do you actually want to do?

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i think you’re right but the money makes up for it for moi until you can do something else

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You’re not wondering, you’re denying. You’ve been chasing after prestige. You know it. I have too. Most people in big law have. I finally had my awakening recently and am done being a prestige whore. Plotting my exit and very excited to start living a fulsome life again soon.

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Look ... these are the problems that many wish they had. You are extremely lucky and privileged. March to retirement.

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Relax nothing is ever perfect

It’s never too late to change!

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