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-Date a fellow associate (just don’t try to hook up on the emergency stairs at 4PM because everyone will know. Trust me)
-Make partner at 35ish and immediately marry someone of the same age and find a way to have a child ASAP
-Find someone in IB or a doctor who also works crazy hours so they won’t be so mad at you
My wife and I were associates together. Otherwise it would have been very hard to find someone willing to put up with the random hours and cancelled dates
Dating apps. Can set up dates from your desk. I met my boyfriend on Hinge as a second year associate. Before we met, I would chat with people throughout the day. I’d try to have the first date be a Friday night drinks date, as I could often get out at a decent-ish hour on Fridays. I’d try to work in on the first date how unpredictable my hours were. It’s something that’s easier to explain in person. If they don’t understand, they’re not the match. It’s difficult but possible so don’t give up!
I haven’t used hinge, but a colleague of mines used hinge and it turned out well. Also, go out with your friends when you cdn! You can still meet people that way.
Keep perspective that if it's important to you, it's important. It is easy to fall into the trap that other people's priorities are "bigger", like that person A needs to leave early, but for their kids, and person B needs to take a long weekend, but because their in-laws are visiting. Sometimes a first or second date is really important and worthy of leaving work for. Not every week, but sometimes.
Let me know if you figure it out. I split with a long term bf at 32 and haven't dated in 5 years.
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Leave biglaw before your childbearing years are over. Seriously.
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You need to freeze _embryos_ if you want to be sure. The difference in rates is stark.
Following. I got broken up with recently over the lack of work/life balance due to my work schedule. It was a constant issue during the relationship. I find it super hard to meet people esp now and I’m only getting older.... is there any one who would understand and put up with our work schedules??
Had a couple of failed relationship with lawyers - I think at one point I didn't see my then gf for 5 months because I was on a huge litigation case and then she was on a public M&A deal.
Happily married to an ED doctor now - could be just me but although my wife is really busy, most of the time her roster is scheduled for months ahead (+/- overtime here and there) so I try to plan my life around her schedule because at least that is a constant in our busy lives.
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I met my partner in law school (via dating app). He is not a lawyer——works for a tech company doing data analytics.
He understands my schedule because he also has haphazard hours. Last night he was working at 11pm.
But we both are committed to making time for each other and drawing boundaries with work. That goes a long way.
Are you a woman or a man?