This might be off-topic for the bowl but I thought it'd be a good to find other women's perspectives on this. How do you know when you're sure you want to have kids with a person? I've been married for about 3 years, and I love him but I just don't see myself raising kids with him. I don't know if it's a mental block or my gut instinct telling me I'm going to have to do the heavy lifting. How do you make this decision usually? I could really use some help.

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I don't mean for this to sound rude, but isn't this something you should have figured out before you got married? Having kids isn't everything obviously - tons of happily married couples don't! But if it's something I was planning on or an option I at least wanted to consider down the road, I wouldn't marry someone unless I knew I could count on them being a good parent. I'm not married and don't have kids yet, so maybe I'm way wrong here, it just seems like something you'd both want to be on the same page about.

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Im a newish mom to a one year old, and in my experience, there are still many moms doing the heavy lifting these days.

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Such a personal and intimate decision for everyone! Trust your instincts and then figure out what led you to them. Is this something you want? Is that something they want? Open, honest communication which can be some hard talks, is important all throughout life. No right answers, just what is right for you.

The only way to be sure is by talking to your partner. There are no signs as such. You learn on the go and you both learn together. It's not easy even when you're both ready so please don't make the mistake of trying to be ready after you have the kid. Talk about your fears to him and figure it out with him.

OP, I’ve been thinking about your post, and I really think it comes down to having a very open conversation with your husband. I hope you’re doing ok!

Hmm you should’ve talked about this before hand but I would say lay down your requirements before you do have kids if you decide to. A maid, nanny, chef etc….

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