We tell younger people to “find a sponsor, align with people who can position you for the right opportunities. So why is it harder for fish like us, 40+, hesitate to ask for help? What holds you back?

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I’m 43 (I think) and my mentor is late 30s (I think). He’s simply better at this than I am, and I have a lot to learn from him

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Once I became an ECD (all my roles have been leading a department, not a client group) the biggest disappointment for me is lack of people to ask for advice. CCOs or other big time ECDs are usually too busy to advise if they don’t know you. And within the agency (at least in my experience) the leaders of the other verticals don’t collaborate much or give feedback. But they all have an expectation of what you should do, and how and usually each person has a different expectation. And in a lot of cases the creatives don’t act honestly around you because you’re their boss. So it could go a long time before you know if someone is unhappy. I don’t think this is every case, some are successful right away, but many are not. It’s tricky. You’re expected to come in,know what to do with little collaboration or feedback, and fix the big problems quickly.

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My experience above was two times. Both were big network agency offices, if that’s what you mean by part of a network.

Mentors are good at any age. It’s harder as we get older because we think we are supposed to know the answers so it feels vulnerable to ask for help or guidance. A good approach is knowing you have something to offer someone something in exchange for their mentoring. Also good to look outside the industry.

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Well I suppose at 40+, assuming we started at age 23, we would have 17-27 years of experience. At that point we should be the sponsors people seek out. It just seems odd for a 45 year old to ask a 28 year old for career help in advice. Maybe I totally misunderstood the point/question of your post. If so, I’m sorry.

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What advice should I ask a 28 year old? Honest question.

I have friends I reach out to outside my agency. Some are older, some are younger. At this point, it’s less mentoring and more just advice, but I’ve never been above asking people for help. It’s the best way to learn something.

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sometimes i learn the most from the peeps i’m mentoring—whatever works🙃

I’ve asked many times to learn new things. I want to be productive in this changing environment. But I keep getting pigeon holed. Any advice?

Don’t ask.
Get started on your own. When you hit a wall show them the value of continuing to learn and the cost of what you need. Everyone is busy so make the problem you’re asking them to solve as simple as possible.

There are industry changes who don’t have as much experience even if older. Read about a copywriter on here who started as a junior at 37. Just keep it in mind.

Industry changers ^

I’ve been told I shouldn’t need mentoring at this point, and if I did, then there’s a problem... SMH

Then you were talking with someone with narrow vision. Everyone can always get better and a little mentorship is a way better investment than hiring replacement talent.

Personally once I became a director, everything became really political and there is no help, only competing agendas. So to seek help is to show weakness.

So you need Mentorship on building consensus?

I think part of it is also fear. As we go up in seniority, there are simply fewer new jobs. So people may get scared to help others. The key then is to find someone who isn’t in the same discipline as you are.
It feels awfully cynical to say that, but I think it’s true

Wisdom is where you find it. If you were a 60 year old physicist feeling at a dead end and had the good fortune to encounter a 30-year old Stephen Hawking who was feeling generous with advice, wouldn’t you be interested?

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