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Plenty of people didn’t respond to our save the dates. I was not expecting a response. If you don’t send them an official invite as a way to rescind their invite, you risk them showing up anyway since they’ll think they were invited.
Didn't think from this angle.
Thanks!
Rising Star
I have never acknowledged a save the date. I put it on the fridge to save the date. I acknowledge social media posts of engagement photos. If you get a save the date and don't get an invite you would wonder what happened - like did theycall it off or the invite got lost in the mail?.
Save the dates are sent after you have your venue. By then your engagement is old news to most of your friends.
Lol you want them to call and say so you guys finally picked a date?
The only people I heard from were people who knew they wouldn't be able to come. I think my parents got some texts from some of their friends, but it was new news to them.
I don’t think a save the date requires a response. Yeah would be nice if they sent a note but I wouldn’t consider it a snub if they don’t personally
I would never send a note after receiving a save the date. I put it on my refrigerator and don’t give it a second thought until the wedding gets closer.
Save the dates do not require a response. You should speak to them directly if you want a congrats (and even then I wouldn't expect people to respond in a certain way).
The only time I’ve responded to a save the date is if I knew I couldn’t make it. I would not take it personally.
I totally understand you but I wish I skipped the extra step of save the dates and just sent an email with a request for the mailing address for an invitation to follow. Most people I invited treated it as the actual invitation without providing the mailing address I requested. I spent lots of time chasing the mailing addresses down anyway.
Why is this even a question or a thought? It’s a save the date. Stop
No need to be rude. I've gotten the answers I needed
You’re getting it mixed up.
Not responding to a wedding invite is an issue.
Not responding to a save-the-date is normal.
A good number of those who didn't respond to the save the dates still ignored the invites 😂😑 which I consider disrespectful. I mean, say no or something. And I'm only upset about a handful of people whom we considered super close and would cancel plans to attend their events. If they were maybes for us, I really wouldn't feel hurt if they declined or didn't respond.
I completely agree with comments that a "Save the Date" is an announcement, not an invite (unless you indicated an RSVP date). As someone with a parent that planned weddings for almost 50 years, my well-informed advice is that each "Save the Date" recipient should be sent an invite. And don't be surprised if guests that receive an invite and don't RSVP still show up at the wedding or bring a "+1" even though they weren't invited with a +1. It's totally disrespectful, but people still do that.
The most important thing? That you and your soon-to-be spouse enjoy yourselves, RSVP's be damned.
Thank you! We included an RSVP link on the save the dates and got quite some joyful responses but interestingly from people we didn't expect would respond eagerly. We took the advice here and sent everyone who got a save the date, an invite. Majority of those who ignored the save the dates still non-chalantly declined or ignored the invites which is baffling considering these are people we've canceled (or would gladly cancel) plans to attend their events, but life goes on.
Save the date is just a notice. Usually people have a ceremony and a reception. Everyone isnt invited to both. Its just like a notice like hey, we’re getting married this date. The wedding party isnt even final and budgets may require a smaller crowd. Basically, dont plan a surgery or a trip around this time because you MIGHT have a wedding to attend or participate in. If youre worried about the lack of response theres no harm in sending a pre rsvp. This way the people that responded get to attend if there are budget cuts. Maybes get priority over those that didnt respond when official invitations go out if cuts need to be made.
I did include RSVPs on my save the date cards. I guess what interests me most is that some people whom I considered super close were the ones who didn't acknowledge while majority of those I considered maybes were more enthusiastic. I followed the advice here and sent out invitations to everyone who got a save the date card. Funny enough, most of those same "closer" people still ignored the invitation or declined while those whom I considered maybes joyfully accepted immediately.
Now, I'm feeling some type of way about some people. These are literally people I'd cancel certain plans for if they had such events but I guess people don't always take you as you take them. Is feeling a bit upset about this, again, normal?
I've accepted the outcome and glad that the ones coming are really those who wanted to be there for us. We've exceeded our planned headcount already but it still baffles me when i think of some of those who declined nonchalantly or who read the messages/invite didn't even deem it fit to respond by the deadline
Only if you still want them at your wedding.
save the dates have never warranted a response IMO, they’re just so people know the invite is coming and don’t make plans
I would. Save the Dates do not warrant a response. An invitation with an RSVP does however.
Usually, people send an rsvp with a save the date cards.
Rising Star
I have never gotten an RSVP request from a save the date. Those come with the invitation .
I’m Wedding Vintage Dressmaker Fashion Designer Interior is seriously truthfully always Eternally grateful lovingly. 42 years
Do you have a website to see some of your work?
Rising Star
If you just sent the invites since this original post, it is way too early to expect everyone to have responded. So many people, open look at the respond by date and think " I'll do it later." I FU with people who thought they had done it. Sadly, close friends often assume you know they will be there and need reminding.
After going through it, I am much more quick to respond. Manners just aren't what they used to be. Mainly because no one really emphasizes them and certainly kids don't have many roll models in media.
Also many people rarely check their mail you may have a significant number of people who haven't even opened your invite yet.
Thanks for these perspectives. We included RSVP link on our save the dates and on the invites. And we did mostly digital invites so we could tell they were received and read.
Our Save the Date explicitly asked to RSVP since its happening out of town and we needed to make reservations. Otherwise, I wouldn’t expect a response to save the date.
Same here. We included an RSVP in ours as it's out of town too.
You sent a save the date mail then an invite separately? I sent them at the same time and then followed up after the deadline. If you only send the “save the date” mail most people wont respond.
Rising Star
Its why I did a 1 page invite with info and QR code on the back. The only people who enjoy those multipage invites are the printers lol
Call them.