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Is she giving mixed signals or are you seeing what you want? Maybe unlike you, she has the emotional maturity to be friends with people of the opposite sex.
I know you want perspectives from men only, but I think you need one from a woman. If I was doing all these things showing clear interest and you did not make a move, I’d think you were not interested in me that way and force myself to start dating someone else. Women tend to approach dating like fishing. We were taught not to be aggressive and ask men out so instead we kind of drop our line and hope you bite. If we keep dropping the line and you don’t bite, we figure you’re not interested.
My guy, I mean this in the nicest way possible….move on and have a little more self respect. These don’t sound like mixed signals and even if they were, maybe the same tendency to get defensive and blame women that you’ve displayed here is turning her off. Yes, it okay to have feelings like this for someone. Yes, sometimes we can’t help but feel jealous. Believe me man, I’ve been there. That being said, you are an adult entering a field where having control over your emotions is VITAL. There will be other women who you will form mutual connections with.
Before you try to scream FeMiNiSt EnErGy again, I am a man.
This woman is already dating someone. Why do you feel entitled to insert your attraction to her into your friendship? She doesn't want to date you. She's driving 4 hours to see another man. Women do not waste their time to do that if they are not committed. Are you so amazing that the minute a woman finds out you're interested in her romantically, she will drop everything to pursue a relationship with you? The answer is no.
Also, quit normalizing (and prioritizing) jealousy. It's not cute or healthy. It's a sign of serious trust issues and insecurity. It's an indicator that you need to work through your emotions and probably could benefit from therapy.
If you can't just be friends with this woman, then fade out of her life.
Wow. I’m a feminist and I’m from the East coast and I just gave you advice above that she probably moved on because you weren’t acting on her signals. I’m very offended at this comment. That really wasn’t necessary. Sorry to have feminist energy. You’d think a lawyer would have enough education and intelligence not to discriminate against people. And your comment “I can date someone else instead who actually wants to be a loyal wife,” is creepy and entitled. So if she doesn’t want to date you it’s because she doesn’t want to be a loyal wife? Maybe it’s because she doesn’t want to be your loyal wife. Maybe she doesn’t want to be a wife at all. That comment has major incel energy. It’s not a good look.
please leave the nice Muslim woman alone
Plenty of beautiful muslim girls. But this one’s Hindu
“Hey, I know you’re seeing someone but I’d love to take you out for drinks if you’re available for that”
Don’t overthink it, all these things like income and race are fine to consider briefly but really you need to get out of your head and actually take action
Ok there are like 5 million other things you could ask her out for. Coffee. Tea. Pizza. Barbecue. Italian. Ice cream. A walk in a nice area of town.
Why do you need to “get yourself together” and what does that even mean? Ask her out. If she says no, move on.
You want to be friends or an acquaintance? Why did you waste our time asking about possibly dating her? Be her coworker or colleague. Dating a coworker is an incredibly bad idea.
I agree. Please go to therapy.
Why are you asking men for dating advice? What do they know about women? They are always aiming for other men's approval, you're doing it here, even. Ask a woman if you're interested in women.
I’m sure it does. If you date a female attorney you might be dating a woman who has intelligence and actual opinions and won’t appreciate being evaluated for their fertility. There’s also the added fact that you clearly expect her to stop her career based on your need to get yourself together financially in order to date her. You also seem to think dating someone means you’ve bought her. The energy here is cringy. Sorry to invoke my northeast feminine energy.
Pro
Ew. Grow up, and learn to not to use the woman you’re dating as your sole pillar of emotional support. And for the love of actually being a man, ask the girl out if you like her and “can’t just be friends”. At least be mature enough to own your own weird insecurity.
Pro
What do your mom and your boss say about this situation?
the softest boy in the world
take her out, if she refuses, dont talk to her again since you cant be friends with someone you have romantic feelings over
yeah stop being so sheepish and afraid of going after what you want. fortune favors the bold, in career and romance.
You are wasting your life worrying about this problem lol just find more women
You’re probably right
Ask her to go to the movies and act like it's a date, but don't mention it and don't "make a move." Ask her again and then playfully say something like, last time felt kind of like a date, and that felt good. This time, we should make it officially a date. If she says no, you shot your shot and can move on.
Thank you. Well I’m willing to compromise as to some stuff. The biggest difficulty would be maybe with what faith my children need to practice. The Catholic church doesn’t prohibit interfaith marriage it just discourages it.
What race and religion is the other guy
I think they meant the other guy she is seeing
I think the key is to be honest with yourself and with her. If you’re feeling jealous, it might be worth talking about it, without being confrontational. Let her know how you feel, but also respect her choices. If she's with someone else, it's important to respect that too.
Why would I tell her I’m jealous if she’s seeing someone? I don’t mind respecting that decision. But I would rather walk away with self respect and dignity.
She either sees you as a friend or doesn’t. Ask her out. “Hey, I’m interested in being more than friends. Would you like to go on a date? If not, no pressure — would love to still remain friends.”
There.
Heyy! Honestly, it sounds like she may just trying to be a friend and this might hurt a little, but sees you as a brother. If you are truly having a hard time, I think it may be best to just have an open honest conversation with her over coffee or a smoothie, and naturally bring it up and calm, collected and mature way. Let her know you could be wrong about your interpretation of her behavior and you just want things to be clear without any misunderstanding. If she shares that she isnt into you like that, respect that and tell her thank you for being honest and that you'd like to continue to be friends (if that is what both of ya'll want and can handle at time) otherwise continue to be great colleagues. Hope all works out!
Sooo you want her to do the emotional labor of making a move. You’re so scared of rejection that you won’t say anything until she does. Which could never happen.
None of that screams I'm interested, she's just a friend. Accept that.
I’m an older and wiser woman. My advice to you is to tell her how you feel while making it clear that it is okay if she doesn’t feel the same way about you. This is most honest and respectful way to handle this, and you have nothing to lose by doing it.
There are 2 (or 3) possible outcomes: 1) she does feel the same about you in which case the two of you can begin to explore a new level of your relationship together, 2) she doesn’t return your feelings, but because you’ve made it clear that it’s okay for her to not reciprocate, your friendship can remain in tact, without resentment or jealousy, and you can move on since the boundaries of your relationship have been defined and the “signals” are no longer mixed.
The third possibility is that she may not know how she feels about you, and that’s okay too. In this case, you have made your interest known, and she is free to think about it and decide in her own time how she feels. The two of you can maintain your friendship while both being free to pursue other romantic interests; if a romantic partnership between you and her is meant to be, then, in time, it will be.
Always remember that romantic relationships, if they are to last, require courage — courage to get over your fear of rejection, to be truthful with your partner, and to allow your partner to feel whatever they feel without resentment from you. Also, if your intended partner is not capable of fully appreciating your courage and honesty, then it may be best to move on; in this case, the partnership is not likely to develop into a healthy relationship.
She does not have another guy "on the side." LOL. Sir, what??
Fair enough
2 years' older than you is nothing at all. Show your charisma to her.