Has anyone ever overcome their feelings of inadequacy? I feel like no matter how objectively successful I am it just isn’t enough and I feel like I’m not doing enough or succeeding hard enough.

Do any of you have tips on how to feel satisfied with where you’re at instead of just worrying about it not being enough?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

This is tough and I’m sure we all struggle with it. I certainly do. Things that have helped me:

- religion: helps me focus on things of an eternal nature and worry less about earthly status or wealth, which I can’t take with me

- family: all the “success” and accolades in the world won’t make up for failures in the home

- physical health: ensure you’re drinking enough water, eating well, sleeping enough, exercising, and getting outside every day and into nature often. This will then also pay dividends with respect to mental health

- reflection: think back on how far you’ve come, what skills you’ve developed, people you’ve taught or trained, and what you have accomplished during your career so far. You’ve probably come a lot further than you think. Comparison is the thief of joy.

- sacrifice: consider what those you view as successful have sacrificed in order to get there. Are those sacrifices worth it to you? Per above, many successful partners I’ve worked with have been divorced or are in awful physical health, having complications and major surgeries much earlier in life than they should have. They work vacations. They rarely unplug. They often look haggard and miserable. Those sacrifices are not worth it to me, so I do not care about obtaining that kind of “success”.

- define yourself appropriately, for you: this is personal, but I’ll share what I mean for me. I do not define myself as a lawyer, much less a lawyer at [firm]. I define myself as a son of God, husband, father, and friend. That is who I am. Being a lawyer is what I do. I can do lots of things to provide for myself and family if I needed to. Reframing in that way makes the work seem less important, in a healthy way.

- focus on what you can control: this is largely your attitude and behaviors. Are you saving enough? Are you scheduling time for things important to you? Do you do the things important to you early in the day, so that if work balloons or fires need to be put out later it’s less stressful for you? Are you taking time to learn new skills if you feel like you’re stagnating? Be intentional with your calendar and prioritize the tasks that matter most, not whichever person in your email is the whiniest.

You got this! 💪

likeupliftinghelpful

Powerful, my fellow colleague! You need to do a webinar for attorneys on this. Maybe you already have! 😀

1. None of this matters, really. We’ve been sold this rat-race indoctrination.
2. Not sure about your personal life, whether you’re married, have a significant other, or have children. But focus on that for fulfillment instead of worrying about what others think of your life & career (make no mistake, that’s what underlying your angst).

like

Try not to (only if you are) compare yourself to others. Set reasonable goals for yourself and be happy/excited when you achieve them. As others have mentioned, the profession is a bit competitive. I try finding rewarding things outside of work like pro bono or spending time with loved ones to focus on. It’s helped with anxiety and just overall happiness tremendously. I have better perspective on life as a result.

likehelpful

Thank you for this question! Curious to read the responses as I feel this way at times. But my feelings of inadequacy are based on what I don’t have and/or who I don’t know. My ability to practice law and be a solid advocate? Not an issue.

like

I don’t think I ever will. Ppl around me are wildly more successful.

like

Related Posts

Could someone please suggest how to handle this situation?
My manager (Technology Director) sees me as an emerging thread to his position and stopped sharing details / trying to avoid including me in visible projects etc.,
FYI - His manager is the division head and Managing Director.
Why I think my manager tries to move me out?
- I am 18 YOE with a technically strong background
- Upper mgmt is starting to identify me as the backup for all systems. My manager tries to move me out since then

likehelpful

Will ATOS accept three months notice period

How to switch from Accenture technology to Accenture strategy? I am an MBA.

like

Hi All,

Recently got the opportunity to "grow our ESG/CSR" practice at a small regional consulting firm, due to my recent grad certification in sustainable strategy. Wondering where I should focus us as a services industry for big impact - we have a large product innovation, engineering area, and know in the past we've had a lot of lip service to clients and only recorded ESG for their compliance.

Hoping to make a big difference and include CSR/Sust audits for our client projects! Any tips?

Guy,

How can I get into Microsoft without an MBA in a Program manager role?

I am currently an Associate Product Manager. Overall Exp 4yrs.

Is it possible to get in or MBA is a must...

helpful

Hey Dallas folks!

I want to get to know the local private companies. I worked at a private company with 2-3k employees before my MBA. They had an amazing culture, but limited progression opportunities. I'm thinking about looking for a smaller company (couple hundred to couple thousand employees) in the Dallas area and looking to find an amazing culture.

Anyone have recommendations on companies with great cultures in the Dallas/north of Dallas areas? (I live in the Plano/Allen/Mckinney area)

like

what is working at a crisis management firm like? broad question, i know, but i don’t know much about the field! (i currently work at an ad agency, but i’m considering a career pivot.)

like

Finally got my keystone master achievement!!!

like

I love milk with pizza or steak 🤤 just had milk with pizza last night. So delicious

likefunny

Am I going crazy? I feel like my close friend is always trying to “one up” me in conversation. Any time I make a point, they will go out of their way to prove I’m wrong with some sort of stat or evidence. It’s like they need to have the last say.

They try to make me look bad at times without noticing. I don’t know how to approach this as we are all in a pretty tight friend group.

like

I don’t like Chicago. It seems that I will have to move to Chicago in the fall. How do I survive this

like

Hey Fishers, how/where to prepare for a job switch for 3-4 YOE?

How is Ameriprise financial for Design engineer Cloud profile ..how is WLB and culture in the organisation.

Thanks in advance.

Considering Leaving JP Morgan to join US bank is that a sounds move ? 9 years of software engineer experience - currently paid $135K plus bonus as Associate software engineer at JPMC- but I want a fully remote position that’s why considering making the move to US bank. Is it worth the move if they offer me the same salary? Or should I ask for more ?

like

For those in tech and big cities, would you mind sharing what an M3 (no MBA but masters) should be making? Interested in base salary and bonus to see if my trajectory is on the low end. 9yrs exp.

like

How did current in-house attorneys find their positions? I am currently in big law with 3 years of experience. Seems that most recruiters can only help me lateral to other big law firms.

Any thoughts on the below offer -
Product Manager in Tech - 180k base, 10% bonus, 160k RSU (vested 4 years), 8 YoE

like

Hi there, wanted to know about promotion policy in UST. Tried to find about it, but not many have idea i believe. About to complete a year, but no news on same. Please reply if any idea. Thanks!

like

Salary check: How much are you making? List your YOE and firm.

like

Additional Posts in Law

As lawyers are there ways to get paid for connecting clients?

like

Anyone know anything about Kauffman borgees or Traub Lieberman? Reputations, working there, etc?

like

I joined fishbowl a month ago and while I’ve seen a couple contentious debates but I must say I’m pleasantly surprised at how respectfully ppl comment on this app even when disagreeing. Usually anonymity on the internet brings out the absolute worst in ppl; they type things anonymously that they would NEVER say in person smh. But I really haven’t seen horrible comments here. I wonder what makes this app diff frm others?

like

Are new associates in your firm eligible for bonuses in their stump year?

like

Confused why Wachtell qualifies as BigLaw when they have one (small) office

like

Anyone else here kinda like doing doc review? (In moderation of course)

likehelpful

How do you wind down after a rough day?

like

If I’ve already agreed to a start date on 11/28 how bad would it be to reach out and ask to push it to 12/5?

Is there a market for lawyers to add expertise In crisis management or reputation management? My goal is to counsel clients on how to respond to media inquiries without saying or posting something detrimental to a potential litigation while still maintaining communication with their client base. If so, how to break into that industry? Courses? Books? Certifications?

like

When negotiating a sign on bonus with a new firm based on the fact that you were anticipating a bonus for that fiscal year and are leaving before that is paid out, do you have to do anything to prove you would have actually received a bonus/the amount of bonus you would have received?

like

What is the most “do as I say, not as I do” thing you’ve been told or punished/reprimaded for as an associate?

like

Layoffs. Most big firms say they're sitting on a conservative pile of cash - which I believe is true - but work will obviously not return to pre-COVID levels in the short term, probably not even in the medium term. Are Biglaw layoffs coming?

likefunny

Any tips when leaving a firm? Younger associate <1 year.

likehelpful

Has anyone taken  ACAMS Certified Global Sanctions Specialist (CGSS)? Any comments/ reviews? How has it enhanced your employability? Why did you take the CGSS?

like

Family law litigator looking to transition to in-house? Any tips?

like

Just had a hearing on my motion to compel where OC told the judge we hadn’t conferred before filing the motion. Not only did I attempt to confer on 3 separate dates, I attached the emails and his response that he refused to confer to my motion. Judge didn’t care, as soon as she heard him say we hadn’t conferred she denied the motion. Not asking a question, just needed to vent.

like

Transactional junior associate in biglaw. Working for a dedicated practice group rather than in an associate pool. For the past few months, I’ve been loaned to another practice group for a good chunk of time. While the people are decent and the hours aren’t terrible, I detest the work and don’t see a future in this new practice. My main partner says it should end in the next month, but I don’t expect that to happen. Is it a terrible idea to ask to be taken off?

like

Have a call on Friday with the CEO of an environmental entrepreneurship non-profit. It could lead to a professional opportunity and maybe even billable work I can refer to my firm down the line. I’m going in with an open mind but little concrete information on his entity and goals and ways I could get involved. What questions would you ask such a person?

like

Those who are voluntarily returning to the office — how often are you going and what days seem to work for you? Looking to slowly incorporate a few days here and there for change of scenery etc. — will add there is no pressure to do so (yet).

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal