Has anyone here overcome addiction and found purpose after recovery?
My younger brother is struggling. Every time he gets sober, he relapses, mostly because he feels lost and without direction. I’m hoping to find someone who’s been through it and can offer him some guidance or mentorship.

Even a few words of hope could make a big difference. Thank you.

I struggle with addiction myself and nobody in my life knows about it. It’s cliché but what they say is true, the only one who can get them out of addiction is the person struggling themselves.

I think that’s because the root cause of addiction is deeply personal and it can take a long time to even identify how someone even got to that point, let alone figure out how to get themselves out of it.

The only words of encouragement or tips I can give is to find real motivation for your brother to stay on track. Addicts need something that’s a hell of a lot more appealing than the drug itself to make the fight worth it.

Addiction is a symptom of a larger problem. Usually that they aren’t okay with themselves or the world around them. I suggest seeking clinical help or a 12 step program. It helped me and it’s why I am where I am today.

11 years sober here with the help of outpatient rehab and a 12 step program. It definitely takes 6-12 months to feel like a human again. I thought I needed alcohol / drugs to be creative / inspired, but it turned out the ability to do and feel those things existed in me all along. There is hope.

Ohhhh I have a lot of experience here. Not one but two of my siblings went through this/ going through this. They were doing HARD drugs. Unfortunately it is one of those situations where until they really want to turn their life around they will be able to make better choices and stay strong. both tried to stay sober but consistently fell off (that is to be expected and accepted). However, after a little over 10 years of drug addiction and going back and forth between rehab, my older sibling has been sober for 3ish years now .

I don’t know if you can DM on this app, but you can and I’m happy to share some of my family’s experiences and what she tried to finally be sober. But ultimately, staying sober requires the person to REALLY want to change, working on their self-worth and understanding her triggers.

Treat the problem, not just the addiction.

What has getting sober looked like in the past for him? If he feels he lacks purpose, has he tried talk therapy in conjunction with sobriety? Has he tried immersing himself in a hobby, going to AA/NA, or something else where he can have a social life while being held accountable for his sobriety?

Would highly recommend the book In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté. Perfectly digs into the root causes around addiction and is supremely helpful in the pursuit of achieving deeper understanding around the topic. For addicts and non-addicts alike.

I am sending so much power to your brother. To continuously try to get sober after multiple relapses is a feat worth commending, all on its own. And I second what others have said here – talk therapy or a sponsor he can talk to and sober communities that meet consistently to give him a sense of connection and purpose could help <3

Genuinely, consider therapy.

AA

As someone who has closely witnessed alcohol addiction I’d echo what folks are saying - not just rehab and AA but also seeing a therapist to understand the deeper issues. I’ve seen people only do AA & get obsessed with following various 12 step programs but reject therapy and exhibit unhealthy behaviors in other ways. Also would recommend Alnon for yourself because obviously addiction runs in families and it’s quite possible you may have a parent who was an addict in some way.

I’ve been sober for 5 years and I’ve found that picking up as many hobbies as possible to fill the everlasting void left from alcohol and drugs has been the most effective route personally. A lot of people will recommend the gym and that’s not everyone’s bag, so I’ve seen a lot of people fall off because that‘s their only backup plan for utilizing their time in sobriety. A hobby as simple as like model building has been really helpful for me personally. Anytime I feel like having a drink I just lock in and build a Gundam or something and it’s honestly a great way to just zen out and pass the time. Recreational sports like tennis can be great too because it’s a great physical activity and allows you to meet other people that as I’ve found, mostly don’t drink. Anyway, all that to say, hobbies hobbies hobbies, especially if AA or NA hasn‘t effective. There are plenty of routes that can be taken to find some type of purpose later on in life, it’s just a matter of seeing what type of activity resonates with you and can effectively take your mind off past vices.

It’s usually a coping mechanism to distract them from a bigger problem. Fix the bigger problem and the chance of recovery is good. Try to treat the symptom/distraction and most likely he will just relapse.

I'm sorry to hear. Stay strong for him. May I ask what substance is he addicted to?

So, it's going to vary from person to person.

For my parents they never found their way out. Now they're no longer with us.

For me, pursuit of my goals is what got me to throw drugs away. I wanted success in the creative field more.

I still struggle with alcohol a bit but much less so since I started Muay Thai.



I would suggest helping your brother find a goal, a path, something to work towards that they can throw themselves into. For me that was building my portfolio...

Hope it helps.

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Sober 14 years here. Is your brother in the business? I’ve mentored a few creatives and I think I’m good at helping people find their path. I’m not sure my experience getting sober would inspire anyone. But I’m willing to try. Send a DM.

Also, take care of yourself. Alanon can be helpful. ‘Codependent No More’ by Melanie Beatty is really good