Has anyone quit because your manager was incompetent and then tried to gaslight you?

There's an old saying that people don't quit bad jobs, they quit bad managers. And there's a lot of truth to that, how you deal with your manager can be a huge part of the job. I never actually quit because of an incompetent manager, but I've known it to happen. A lot of companies just don't realize how much talent gets driven away by managers who can't handle their jobs.

Ive done it. I quit my last role because my boss was clueless on how to manage. He wouldn't give feedback, had no vision and worse, would take credit for your work. Throw in his nepotism and bully-ish leadership style and it made me realize my mental health wasn't worth it.

One day, he went overboard in his ways of speaking to me, I mean, he went as far as to tell me that I should look for employment in other areas of the company or to leave completely. There was no growth and that I should accept my role as there will never be a promotion.

So I said a big FU, I'm done. Since I've quit, they're stock has plummeted from $120 p/share to $25. Good riddance to those toxic fuckers

This happened to me early in my career. I didn't quit and stayed in hopes it would get better. Instead what happened is the incompetent manager got promoted while I didn't. Lesson learned I should've left sooner, because the manager was a symptom of a much larger organizational problem.

I have had to leave solely because of the boss. To be fair it was better times and I could reasonably find another job. Listening to them talk about how none of the issues were actually issues, was another nail in the coffin. You really do just have to focus on yourself and tune out the nonsense.

Yes and probably about to do it again

Yes. And it was all for the better because it propelled me to a better company with much better pay. Never stay where you are not valued.

This is an age old problem. It's often left with people just leaving and letting it be an issue for those who stay behind. I still believe in that there is power in numbers, and everyone should come together to raise the issue to HR. But in the end, everyone is scared and complaint to each other, leaving this issue unresolved and persisting. "Karma" will somehow sort this out eventually.

The main issue is that with employment-at-will, there is no recourse and one can easily be gone over things they had no control over. At the very least though, if you know you're on borrowed time, you can raise an HR ticket who should do a climate check and verify with other employees, and that will be on this manager's record. The question is whether you will be on your own in the end or whether people will be brave enough to support you.

It's just shitty unfortunately and you can't trust people. Good luck to you.

Yes. Twice. Moving internally in one case, and externally in another one. Best decisions ever. As soon as you realize that’s the case, run. If an internal move is blocked, look for a job externally ASAP. If you’re a strong professional, you will end up in a better place. A good manager is 50% of your success and happiness at work, so why settle for a bad one?

Yep 🙋‍♂️

No, but I really, really wanted to quit... fortunately I was laid off and received severance which has allowed me more time to dedicate to my job search that was already underway. The environment was super toxic and gaslighting was daily along with moving the goal posts and an outright theme of not wanting people to succeed.

I am going through this now. One of my upline managers is a serial gaslighter. He thinks he is being kind by lying to us constantly, telling us no worries just days before he lays you off. And he is a total chameleon - new VP comes in, his views change overnight.

Several times.For some reason people are promoted on thier ability to kiss ass and talk a big line instead on thier ability to do the job this has been common practice for years now. When I entered the workforce in the mid 80's you didn't see that quite as much. It's 2025 and it's everywhere, I hate it for my grandkids because it's only gonna get worse. Good luck .

Not directly, but basically yes. Short version is that my supervisor would always tell me at review time that I needed to ask for help more. And the one time I did he tried to embarrass me by CCing the director and another department leader and basically dismissed my plea for help by saying "you're messy, clean your stuff up", and then proceeded not to provide a solution to resolve the problem of me being overwhelmed.

A colleague of mine, working as a team member at Tim Hortons, had a manager who was often disorganized and made poor decisions, like failing to properly allocate tasks during busy shifts. When mistakes happened, instead of taking responsibility, the manager would blame the team, claiming they didn’t follow instructions properly. One time, the manager scheduled too few staff members during a rush, leading to long customer wait times and chaos in the store. When my colleague pointed out the issue, the manager dismissed their concerns, suggesting they didn’t understand the scheduling needs. Frustrated by the constant gaslighting and lack of accountability, my colleague eventually decided to leave for a job in a more supportive environment.

If your manager is incompetent and trying to blame you for things that go wrong, or does other things that indicate they are unhappy with you, just start looking for a new job. Also, you might be able to transfer within your company, but generally that requires at least the two most recent appraisals were satisfactory. So don’t wait to explore transfers if you have an appraisal coming up. I would trust HR enough to discuss restrictions on transfers with them. Make sure you follow the rules. Most companies require you to notify your manager about potential transfers at some point in the process. Generally, if your manager is unhappy with you, they will fire you or put you on a PIP. And an experienced manager can write a PIP no one can pass. There really is little you can do. We work “at will” in the US, although it varies a bit by state. In general, you can be fired at any time for any reason, unless you are in a union or have similar protections.

Do we have the same boss?

Yes, twice

If you have another job lined up, yes, if not stay under the radar do the minimum and keep searching until you find one then leave

Yeah i quit because of my stupid stubborn incompetent manager, who managed to secure his pension by just managing one small application in span of 20yrs while his subordinate-managers upgraded their team/technologies/apps in much better way

Can’t agree more people leave managers not jobs