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It’s important to remember the truth in the scenario. If the client doesn’t acknowledge it, then they don’t see us as valued partners. That issue is on them. And it stays with them.
I take it on the chin at first. Then I kindly remind them of the facts with a big ol smile. Then we go back to all of the comms surrounding the project and show up to their front door with the receipts.
When I’m getting blamed for something out of my control, I disassociate a bit. Might be my problem, but it sure isn’t my fault. None of this matters at the end of the year. In 5 years. At the end of your career.
Know yourself. Know your value. Forget about the rest.
It’s not personal, is just business
I actually had a client-side contact drop a string of expletives in a call just a week ago. He was very frustrated because it's their FY end, and we (vendor) have specific areas of pricing and delivery outside of sales' control.
I never, ever believe that clients are swearing or cussing at me, so it rolls off my shoulders. I'm always empathic and trying to understand their perspective and situation, and I verbally check for that understanding.
I make suggestions on how to move past the obstacle. Sometimes the customer needs a breath of fresh air, literally. I tell them that while I appreciate that they're very passionate about the topic, I cannot operate in an unprofessional environment, and I ask them if they would like to continue the call later.
I have red lines, and if someone crosses them, they have a price to pay. I don't care if it's a star client.
Mentor
Put a sticky note on your computer to remind you that it’s all business and none of this really matters. I always remind myself of what my priorities really are - my family and our health! Work is work.
It’s still an instantly frustrating thing, however I do have to remind myself that it is work. They don’t really even know me and don’t actually (at least mostly?) have the problem with me alone. It’s kind of childish, but some people are just mean and that’s just how it is. I’m rubber and you're glue or however it goes.