Related Posts
Enthusiast
Hi ,I have been interviewed and selected in S&P Global .salary almost negotiated and waiting for the offer letter to release. But seems like they are not willing to release the offer because of my 90 np . They are asking to join by 60 days but initially I told them my NP is 90. Even I am ready to take the 60 days offer but now they are not releasing offer as they want assurance.Now they are not picking calls.seems like i will loose the offer. Is there anything can be done.
More Posts
Is this bowl dead?
Additional Posts in Confession
Pro
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Enthusiast
Enthusiast
Showers feel fukin amazing
Rising Star
Chief
This made me lol 😭
Conversation Starter
Rising Star
Week be looking good 🥹
Make gwap and pine tings
Conversation Starter
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
NTA. It’s his family and their tradition. It wouldn’t occur to me to pay in this situation, and I am very much a 50/50 person. Is he otherwise focused on money? Is this out of character? Wondering if his parents brought it up to him….
Yup, OP is fine and this whole kerfuffle looks bad for the BF and potentially his whole family.
Your boyfriend is investing in you and your relationship by including you with his family and paying for you often. It sounds like your bf wants to see more of an effort and gratitude from you. How much they make is irrelevant, you can find things within your budget (even treat them to ice cream) or make a dinner at home. It’s the thought that counts, and entirely what’s missing from you.
As far as having dinner too often, you’re an adult and you can communicate if you would prefer to skip this month’s dinner. I don’t think that frequency is too often in my opinion if you’re dating someone seriously. Getting to know the family better would help me determine if this is someone I want to be with long term.
Rising Star
They go 50/50. She pays for him outside of those dinners, as well as when they’re with her parents, so she is investing in him as well.
Sounds like there are a lot of assumptions about what the boyfriend wants or what’s missing from her because we don’t know what the dynamics are other than them seeing the parents for dinner occasionally. Maybe it is just their norm that children pay for their parents, while it isn’t for her. That’s fine.
My parents would rather die than let anyone from a younger generation pay for them. Even as adults, my sister and I are not allowed to pay at dinner 😂
Exactly! Her asking is just going to make things awkward, and make her look weird. Cringe!
Rising Star
In what world would a younger gf ever pay for dinner for her more established bf and his wealthy parents? It’s very strange that bf would say her behavior is rude, especially when she pays when they go out with her parents. OP could try to balance things out by buying her bf dinner or takeout occasionally, or even paying for drinks before dinner with the parents. I don’t think it’s necessary, but might be a way to get bf to back off.
Grow up SA1
He wants you to make an effort when his parents come to visit. Not offering to pay for one dinner is wild to me. He's not even saying "I want you too take is out to dinner." He's saying you haven't even offered once.
Its giving cringe.
??
So yall would want your significant other to pay for your parents?
And I’d say it’s probably less than monthly, 10 total or so over 2 years. We see my family only twice a year and when we are with my parents I pay for everyone or my parents pay. He’s never paid for my parents, nor would I expect him to but I guess it’s just a difference in upbringing.
MUFG1 once you ask for equality, don’t expect to be treated otherwise. The social norms were designed keeping in mind social equations/status. With equality being the prerogative, which should the treatment be any different?
“Let me pay for dinner”
“Okay”
“Actually, I was just trying to be polite but I didnt actually think you’d let me pay. I was not being genuine with the offer and testing you.” *Puts card away* - everyone suggesting to offer without meaning it 🙂↕️
Focusing on the specific words doesn’t help strengthen your argument
Your boyfriend sounds really focused on your money for someone that makes twice as much as you.
SC1 it’s cute that you think anything you’ve said is “roasting” 🤣
He’s a woman OP wake up
Nope, women are great! He's a mannerless jerk! 🚩
I have never and can’t really imagine being out to dinner where parents are in attendance and them not being the ones to cover the bill. Significant other or not. That would be so bizarre to me.
So much this! Who are all of these people paying for their parents? Mine would be mortified if I even offered.
Dump him
💀
Do you just expect to be treated and pampered for the rest of your life? His parents probably said something so he passed along the message. If you are serious about him - offer to pay so you can make a good impression on his parents. If this is too much effort for you I'd probs just let him know now cause his parents are probably going to start trying to break you up
Wtf. It’s so embarrassing to be a rich, retired boomer couple and expect your 27 year old daughter in law to pay for you.
No you’re not the asshole
Honestly you’re getting a lot of flack in this thread and I don’t get it. Like I can’t even conceptualize why
Enthusiast
They are his parents. Absolutely you are not the a.
Offer. He let you know it bothers him. It can’t hurt. Maybe he wants to feel you can extend an arm to his parents too. But also tell him why you never offered.
Lol yes it can hurt, how awkward would that be with the potential inlaws???
Although OP should not let them be her in-laws, BF sounds like he was raised in a barn...
Pro
All other details aside, you're not WAY younger than your 33 yr old boyfriend. But you are WAY more immature.
Immature? Director be trippin..
Unless I invited his parents to join us, why would I pay? If anything, I, at minimum, would give him back the money for my meal. Otherwise, don't invite me. No sweat off my nose.
If BF's parents invite, parents pay. If OP and BF invite, BF offers to pay (on behalf of the couple! "_We_'ll get it, it's _our_ invitation"). I'd expect his parents would not accept, but not OP's business either way.
In no scenario should OP pay, or offer to pay, how awkward would that be??? *Cringe*
This is not difficult to understand, responders here are making it complicated and weird, unnecessarily fraught...
Rising Star
Typical FB advice: Divorce him and take his kids
Rising Star
Seeeeeekkk counseling!!!!!
Unfortunately, men are also brainwashed with feminist rhetoric.
Yep this is the problem
His parents, his bill. The fact he asking.. Hmm, Interesting..