I look at the partners at my firm and honestly, most of them look miserable. It makes me question whether chasing partnership is actually worth it, or if we’re all just defaulting to that track because it’s the only path we know. I used to think that was the goal, but now I’m not so sure. Is partnership still something to aspire to, or should we be rethinking what success looks like in this profession?

Most partners are golden prisoners. They make big money but pay for it with their souls. Don’t fool yourself into thinking it’s worth it unless you genuinely love the grind.

Some misconceptions here about partnership. It varies widely by firm. Just because some (maybe many) partners at your firm are miserable, that doesn’t mean you will.

The job changes when you make partner (equity or not). You become much more involved in the business side of the practice. “Partner” is short for “business partner”, after all. Responsibility (and control) increases, and compensation does too. The details vary by firm, but that’s the general principle.

Do you want that? Working with people who you like and trust makes a major difference. Do you want to be in business together with the other partners at your firm?

I’ve never seen a partners life that I want to emulate.

Sometimes you come to the realization that you’d rather be your client than your boss. I certainly did.

The question is whether you will be satisfied with less money and less control over your life. Partners do to some extent have more control over their lives. That said the partners who have the most control are the ones who have the most clients and you bring in the most money. Practicing law is a business. Sure there can be altruistic aspects to the profession if you want to work for free or work for a nonprofit. That said being a lawyer is also about earning a living.

This is no different than say working in the education system and deciding to be com the superintendent of the school district versus the math teacher. Except that you have more opportunities to become a partner than you would to become a superintendent.

Disagree with AA1, but it is about money. Agree with OP, MANY partners are miserable. Disagree with OP that they are just doing it because it's the way-- they (we) are doing it because we are hell bent on amassing wealth, and also love or at least kinda like the work. I'm doing my best to find joy in it (while amassing wealth) and succeeding, but I daily monitor the effect of being this busy on my life, well-being, and future.

I had a partner tell me they have to eat every meal out. My parents were CEOs and still managed to have family dinner. Do not fall for this trap, there are other ways to make very comfortable money and not sell your entire life to this bit

I have not seen a single partner that is a role model for me, and I have met quite a few (networking before law school and now as a junior). There is not a single one that I have said, wow, I would like to be you in 10-14- years (whatever the partner track is).

I’m just a staffer but the lawyers at my firm are pretty much beholden to the billable hour. For what it’s worth, most of them seem fairly happy though I know more than a few equity partners living paycheck to paycheck (or at least monthly draw to monthly draw as they don’t get the big payday until unit value and everything else is determined - why? 2nd or 3rd wife, child support, alimony, keeping up with appearances, you name it). But I can tell they barely have time to live life.

I’ve been at the firm nearing 3 decades now and have managed to not get promoted beyond “Manager” because I value work/life balance above all else, and the higher you go, the more scrutiny, including making it to senior associate and/or partner. No thanks. I’ll say that I’ll be retiring soon at age 55, with almost $4.5 million liquid + another million+ in home equity, and will be using the Rule of 55 to make my penalty free withdrawals while living an extremely comfortable, no stress life.

All this while being compensated around what a 1st year makes, and that’s only in the past 5-7 years. The firm treats me well with their profit sharing scheme and I was fortunate to save aggressively into our 401K as soon as I started.

I feel like I came out way ahead of many attorneys at my firm, including equity partners, some of whom have died months after mandatory retirement per the partnership bylaws. So you have to decide for yourself, what is enough? Funny enough. I’ll recommend a book by Jack Bogle, founder of Vanguard, called Enough. Ita a quick read and will make you question what’s important to you.

I have worked with many highly respected attorneys and honestly I have only met 1 unicorn that could balance success and home life, he actually died of a heart attack one morning getting ready for work. I have seen the sacrifice to the families and their life outside of work. Most people aren’t built for the life style. I worked with one attorney who has everything money can buy and has set up his family for generations to come. He missed out on milestones with his daughter, wife and friends and he still can’t stop. He no longer has anything outside of his firm. He is the poorest person I know. I would never want his life ♥️

I am 34 and am trying to make partner by 40. Goal is to retire by 55. Just try not to let lifestyle creep ruin your goals (easier said than done).

I'm on the other side of thanks. A big thing that attracted me to this firm, and a large reason that I'm still here, is because I want to live the life that the partners are living. Their level of financial success and their family lives and their general happiness meet my goals for my future. That gives me a lot of hope that within a few years that can be me also.

If you are not at a firm where you feel that way, I'd suggest that's not where you want to be long-term. You should still look carefully at your financial metrics to try to decide how long you need to stay there, but for long-term, pick a place that better meets your goals.

Try to be honest and not cherry pick. For example, I don't think you're going to find a place where partners have the same prestige and high value clients the very top firms have, top compensation, the best life balance of anyone around, and live happy and carefree with all weekends and evenings free. Try to figure out what you care about, and find a place where the partners seem to care about the same things and have created a place where people with similar goals can thrive.

This is a great thread and I'd encourage every associate to give some thought about what they really want before deciding to try to make partner. It's not the same job, as others on this thread have said, and a lot of times the misery comes from unrealistic expectations. On the associate side, there's often an assumption that making partner is about doing a good job and billing a lot. Those are necessary factors but they are not sufficient; the biggest factor is "can you attract business, manage matters effectively, and make us money?"

Sometimes, during boom times in particular, people will make partner because they are good lawyers who bill a lot and are generally competent. But if the management component is hard for them, they struggle immensely. Unless they learn to like it, they will often be miserable. Same can often be true for people who struggle with conflict; there is a lot of it and if you have a hard time being direct or accepting negative feedback, it will be miserable. And, you need to be comfortable with the fact that you are responsible for making sure there's enough work to pay the bills - not just yours, but associates, staff, etc. Not everyone is equipped for that, and critically, there's *nothing wrong* with not being equipped for that - it's not a sign of weakness or skills. (All of that factors are why you have some partners that seem like mediocre lawyers but excel anyway - they often are good at issue spotting and business management, they know their limits, and know how to delegate to better lawyers.)

(There are also sociopaths who get ahead by taking advantage of people and are just generally terrible. I'm fortunate that my firm works hard to avoid those folks but it's difficult to do so entirely. I'm sorry if all your partner examples fit into this mold.)

The grind is the grind - the amount of time you spend doing work might go up or it might go down. I don't know anyone in my practice group who eats takeout every night and misses important family events (except when emergencies happen, and true emergencies are rare) until they choose to schedule their lives that way. If you are getting different messages I'd consider exploring other firms.

There are many different types of partners. Some with families, some without; equity or income partners; rainmakers or experts in his or her practice; business people who fell in love with the business of law or legal nerds who find identity and meaning in being at the pinnacle of their interest; those with hobbies and friends outside of work and those without.

It really depends on how which category you fit into and how much higher amount of cash compensation in an advisory role matters to you (you could make substantial more in equity or carry in house, but autonomy, control and other factors are just as important).

This is what led me to leave biglaw and become a PI attorney. Still have day to day frustrations but long term I actually enjoy what I do.

Writing in solidarity because I agree and say this often. Biglaw firm, and as I look around the partners are truly miserable. Mostly divorced, or, if not, they barely see their kids, miss big life moments, are typically angry / stressed, etc. It’s really making me question what this all for when happiness is the ultimate goal.

Just because partners look miserable at your firm doesn’t mean that partners at all firms are miserable. There’s always another firm to aspire to partnership in.

This is coming from a different perspective here, but is this a “partner” thing or just people “hitting late middle age with kids thing”? When I was a junior associate, gay, a partner in a very different sense, but absolutely no desire to be a father I always thought it more, less than the workload or “hoops” to jump trough to get to that level in big law it seemed to me that the “misery” isn’t with being a partner per se. It was with having kids, paying for their school, a spouse, a divorce (or two)—stuff that a lot of people go through. Just when you’re an associate that’s all you see with people 30 years older than you are. One of my mentors was a gay partner in big law who wanted equity, but he certainly wasn’t miserable. He was enjoying a rather busy, but nice life. And even as I got older it became less about how hard being successful was than looking at my friends and thinking to myself, wow, having kids and a wife and all that really would’ve been stressful and would’ve really cramped my style—thank god I never made that choice. So I don’t know that being a partner OP is what is causing what you perceive as misery. It’s the other stuff that you get involved in along the way that may have a lot to do with it.

I'm not an attorney, but I've been a paralegal for almost 25yrs. I've worked with many attorneys at various levels from 1st year to senior partner to emeritus in various specialities. All had vastly different personalities & work styles but ultimately it comes down to money & people depending on them to provide the life they've grown accustomed to. They get used to living at a certain level, often above their means, They have a wife (& usually at least 1 ex wife+kids they're still supporting & often a younger girlfriend) It becomes a never-ending loop & they often lose themselves and become a slave to the paycheck. It's definitely a tradeoff. Every former attorney I've supported has a vice/addiction that's been exacerbated by their career choice. They have to numb themselves to keep showing up at work everyday. Make a decision in your 30s. Don't wait til your 50s. Just my 2 cents

Following as I am on the partner track