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This is me 100% as well. I don’t have much insight as to why this happens, but you’re still smart. The actual practice of law often doesn’t require intelligence so much as tediousness and grit.
I think a little of this is that professors, teachers, parents groom us to seek praise in the form of academic gold stars. So when high achievers get to the office/real world, we still chase that feeling/ praise but rarely find it. Keep whatever written “gold stars” you do get, but try to celebrate your small wins to get that feeling back- you led a big client call on your own, the partner had minimal draft comments, or you survived a hard deposition. That helps me a lot when I feel under appreciated
Appreciate the honesty on this
Are you me? Because this hits home so hard
Yup! But as opposed to those who won't stop talking about how great of a lawyer they are because of those law school achievements you mentioned, I think you're doing okay because you're aware that in practice, there's always room for improvement. You'll be okay
I’ve learned that most lawyers don’t really know what they’re doing: they just act like it. And most corrective criticism you get back from partners is probably not an objective problem with your work but you failing to anticipate their ideosyncrasies - which of course no one can do.
I obviously do not know you, so please keep that in mind as my response is not intended as critically as it may seem, but rather a genuine attempt at helping you think about the issue you're having. The book smarts and success of law school don't necessarily translate into professional success as a practicing attorney. I know several of my classmates who were near the top of our class found that the actual practice of law just wasn't for them. They have found satisfaction and success in other areas such academia and being a research attorney. And unfortunately I also know several classmates who seemed like idiots that are now millionaires and run very successful law practices. Don't know if its still around but when I was in school there was a saying - A's become law professors, B's become judges, and C's become millionaires.
Therapy has really helped me realize how much I relied on my “achievements” to feel fulfilled and valuable. Who are you without your job and academic related accomplishments? What do you value? Why do people love you? Why do you love yourself? Your sense of happiness cannot be only linked to your job. You’re smart but why is that so important to you and how will you continue to believe in yourself even if it appears that others don’t believe in you? Dig deep, I sure have had to! Lol
Another thing is you go from running law review, so top of your universe to being at the bottom again and dealing with bad managers or just generally not having the kind of perspective you used to. At least that's how I felt going from EIC to peon that gets a slice a something but not all the context. That changed once I was running deals and could see and understand more of what's up ahead as far as process and the general order of operations for things
Haven’t done law school yet, but sounds like what myself and peers felt when making the transition to grad school and ‘imposter syndrome’ - for our situation, the feelings were completely normal and common, and sounds like the same in your situation :)
Being “smart” in law school has almost no correlation to being good at your job — firms just use this as the metric so they can brag about how many students they got from top law schools when hiring results get published.....