I’m good at my job, but lately I feel like a doormat. I say yes to everything like extra assignments, late nights, and mentoring because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. But I’m exhausted. How do you actually get better at saying no without burning bridges?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

You don’t. In law, saying no gets you labeled “difficult” and passed over.

like

Agree on not saying no. It'll earn you a bad reputation. You are better off saying "I have a lot I'm working on right now but I can work on it later and turn it around by x date if that works" Give yourself enough allowance so that you can actually turn it around by x date otherwise if you miss that deadline, no one will remember you were trying to do a favor by taking on the work in the first place. They'll just remember you missed a deadline and count it against you. Whew...it's a tough world we are in.

like

You can’t say no, you have to make yourself the non-preferred option. “I’d love to help but I’m working on X for Y. If this is something I can do on Z date, I’d be happy to turn to it next!” (And hopefully Y is someone that outranks the person making the current request).

I am in the same boat but I don't think I'm exhausted because of the inability to say no. I know I've lost all motivation at my firm and have low morale (for a number of reasons including poor management and lack of consistent work) so I'm thinking changing jobs will do the trick. If anyone else has been there, tips are welcome.

Related Posts

Hi, I am switching over to UX/UI design. I am taking an intensive course. What advice can you give a UX or a UI designer? How can you get your foot in the door for these fields?

like

Any one ready for a referral to Accenture. 14 YOE overall, 10 YOE in salesforce… Solution Architect or SM Delivery position.. hear ACN is hiring SFDC resources !! DM if you can help..Accenture

like

When choosing the city to immigrate to Australia, to continue your career as leader coach in IT, which city do you consider has the biggest opportunities?

like

I recently joined TW some months back and I dont know why I think have made a wrong choice for myself. I am feeling like I am lost. I am not able to fit in in this high expectations environment. I am used to working in a place where we always worked by taking help from others and here it is sort of assumed that we would be knowing everything right from day 1. Also there is no pairing in my project. Any suggestions on what should be done would be welcome.

like

Hi guys currently I'm working in a project with very stringent timelines. Sometimes we need to put more than 13-14 hrs each day. There are 4 members in my team. Two are involved in database prt and me and my lead are involved in the front end and middle layer prt. Somehow my lead is not at all pleased with my work. And even if I try to talk to him for something he is completely rude. Sometimes it makes me that I m completely useless. Even the other team members are following the lead

likefunny

Hi Fishes anyone here working in ADDA project

HELP! I’ve been contacted by a small private security firm who wants me to be their “on call” counsel. They describe it as a lot of contract review, drafting NDAs, etc. but also being there if/when they need to license a vehicle, defend civil suit, etc. It’s overwhelming but sounds like a really great opportunity. I have enough background to be comfortable with contracts and litigation, but don’t want to get myself into a mess. Has anybody else ever had a job like this?

like

Welcoming any feed back on my resume. I have been applying to supply chain roles (primarily planning and procurement) since May and have not received any interviews. Would love to hear any recommendations on what is missing and/or what kind of roles I should steer toward based on my experience. Thanks and happy holidays!

Post Photo
likeuplifting

Give suggestions on companies to apply in Bangalore.
Want a transition from Data Engineer to ml engineer/data scientist.
Yoe - 1
Engineering- tier 1 nit
Skills:
AWS Associate solution architect.
Azure agile working environment.
Python, sql,Hadoop, spark big data, ci/cd pipeline, aws cloud computing
Regression, pca, knn, ensembles , decision tree etc
Currently working in pharma industry.
Please provide refrell if you have any.

like

Any Korean / Korean-American management consultants in NYC that would be down to meet up?

like

After 13 years in government, really want to get out. Anyone have experience convincing the rest of the world you’re not a “government employee”? I think hiring managers see government work and assume I’m lazy. Ways to get around this?

like

Does anyone else suffer from caffeine withdrawal?

like

New to this bowl. Looking to send some direct messages. Likes would be much appreciated ☺️

like

I cleared all my rounds of interview in JPMC, had salary discussion with HR 2 weeks back. After which i was asked to apply the job on candidate portal and submit additional information.

Its almost 2 weeks and i haven't heard back anything from them. My status in portal shows "You are moving to the final steps in the process". This status has not changed since last 2 weeks.

Can i expect the offer letter to be released? If yes when?

Do most tech/SaaS companies make prospective employees sign NDAs? I'm interviewing for the first time in awhile and am entering into a final round with a company who wants me to sign an NDA prior to the interview. I'm hesitant to do so - especially since I am not sure if I even want to work for this company yet. Is this standard procedure?

Is it a red flag to not use your current employer as a reference or would this not be noticed? I have other references I want to use who I think can better attest to my skills for the job but don’t want it to raise any questions.

like

Hi, I have a 2 part question:

I did a “meet the team” interview 2 weeks ago and now the hiring manager set up a call on Tuesday. Is it safe to assume that’s a call to extend an offer?

If that’s a reasonable assumption, could I let another company (finished interviews last Friday) know ahead of time on Monday that I’m expecting an offer in the hopes of speeding up their decision making?

like

Ok folks. Thoughts on dApps? What are the most immediate use cases you see bringing value to businesses

like

Anyone ever considered contractor gig in Meta/Facebook or any other big players in tech? I'm full-time in a smaller company and it's pretty stable. Wondering if the move could be worthwhile. Mostly want to explore other areas. Other things to consider: planning for babies in the next 3-5 years; maternity leave in current position is basically what's legally required.

like

Lebron James has extended his contract for $97.1 million including two mandatory years and an optional third one. Why does someone need so much money in their life?

like

Additional Posts in Law

Does anyone know what the average total comp is for a non-equity corporate partner in NYC in BigLaw?

like

Want to negotiate salary at an AMLAW200 firm in atlanta. Not a lot of public information about what peer firms (ie, not NY lockstep firms matching cravath scale) pay. What are mid-senior level associates making in Atlanta?

like

Any thoughts on Legility vs. Relativity in terms of eDiscovery software? Or is there another I’m not aware of?

likehelpful

Entering 3rd year at mid size firm in SE doing ID. I like my firm but really dont like the partner i exclusively work with and am going to put in notice. Do i tell the partner i work with first or the managing partner?

like

How often do temporary "might-become-permanent" type jobs (at small/mid size firms) actually become permanent?

like

Brand new baby lawyer dumb question - I am tasked with drafting response to request to produce. How long should this take? And follow up… how do I bill this?

like

I’m a first year associate. I don’t feel like I’ve been tasked with enough work whereas other associates who’ve been at the firm slightly longer are swamped with work. Any advice?

likehelpful

Negotiating a settlement. I’m at $10k, opposing counsel is at $20k. My client won’t go higher than $15k. OC has come down to 17.5k and says his client won’t budge from that. Do I offer 12.5k so we can hopefully meet in the middle at 15k? Is that how the settlement game is played? Seems dumb we can’t just say let’s meet in the middle now and be done with this. (I’m a first year, first time negotiating a settlement on my own and I don’t want to screw this up!)

like

What’s average salary in ID firm mid size (NY) about 350 attorneys ? Class of 2019 but was in public sector (criminal law) for 2 years! 2000 billable hours minimum

like

I was hired by client to draft a form MSA and SOW (the client is a freelance HR coach). She showed her form to another freelance HR coach and now they want to use the form I made for my client and my clients asking if that’s ok? Any advice?

like

Big Law Dads: How much time do you usually take off when your wife has a baby? And do you actually get to take off, or do you just end up working from home half the time? My wife is due Mid-December, and I’m staffed on 4 M&A deals trying to close by year end, so it’s not looking promising.

likehelpful

Mid-senior level transactional folks: how do you originate deals? The only deals I originate come from when one of my corporate clients randomly decides to sell a business. There has to be another way to land more deals, right?

like

How do you celebrate when you close a deal or win a case?

like

How competitve is a US district court clerkship?

like

Does anyone know how litigation finance works on the plaintiff side? If someone wanted to bring a lawsuit against their former employer would a general contingency arrangement with a plaintiff’s firm make sense? Or would one need to find funding and then contact a plaintiff’s firm to actually handle the case? I’m a transactional lawyer, so this is out of my wheelhouse.

like

Anyone work at Stoel Rives? How’s the WLB? Wondering if the grass is any greener over there coming from big law

like

How do you properly vet a law firm? I feel the associates I speak with talk up the firm and aren’t always candid.

like

I am lead counsel on a case - we’re suing 3 businesses and my supervisor is a named incorporator of one of the businesses although he is not an officer. He is asking me to bring the file and meet with him about the progress of the case. I reminded him of the conflict and he stated that the conflict was resolved because he also has a claim against 1 of the companies that he recently filed separately. I don’t see how that resolved the conflict…and he’s fully pressuring me to meet. How to respond?

like

I'm a third year plaintiff's employment law attorney and I'm looking to move to defense, preferably still in employment law. I received an offer from a midsize firm that primarily focuses on PI with little-to-no employment law practice, so I'll have a bit of a learning curve. Offer is $90k, billable hours of 2100. Is this reasonable? I'm dead-set on leaving my current job, and this would be a $20k pay increase - which makes me believe I'm leaning towards taking it for those reasons only.

likesmart

When negotiating a sign on bonus with a new firm based on the fact that you were anticipating a bonus for that fiscal year and are leaving before that is paid out, do you have to do anything to prove you would have actually received a bonus/the amount of bonus you would have received?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal