Is it selfish to stay in the US purely for the money and earnings potential when we have the option to relocate to a more civilized and safe Nordic country with our 4mo? With everything going on in this country it seems less and less appealing to be here (e.g., mass shootings, SCOTUS rulings). Moving would mean 50%+ salary cut for me. Wife owns a business that is likely to not work in destination country. My parents, siblings, and extended family are in destination country.

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You and your wife’s happiness matters. It’s not selfish to have that be a big part of your equation… now I don’t think only thinking of it in money terms is exactly right but that’s me. I’d say just really focus on what you want for your family and for each of you as individuals. What setup is best for that? There is your answer, and it’s not remotely selfish to run with whatever you choose.

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Thank you. We will likely relocate eventually — uncertain if that is 1, 5, 10 years. We will just have to continuously evaluate

Don’t look at compensation numbers in isolation.

Instead look at (a) quality of life and (b) disposable income for savings and retirement.

If any place addressed both for me, I would move regardless of what the numbers work out to be.

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I normally agree and tend to be very rational with my decisions. Not sure I’ve figured out the right values/weights to assign to the many factors involved.

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I think you will still have a great quality of life in the Nordics with your salary right?

Ultimately money should be one of many factors in your life (in the US and on here it often seems to be the only one). So write down what matters to you and then make a decision

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No doubt we would have good quality of life. Hard pill to swallow is the change in lifestyle that current earnings allow for.

Wife and I both come from modest families and didn’t have a lot of extra or excess growing up, so being able to have financial freedom now is a big mental benefit.

Wife and I are both from Scandinavia and we have been on the fence for a while but increasingly considering moving back. Will involve a pay cut but overall quality of life is about more than money… We live in a “bubble” here but even then it’s tough on your conscious to stay, particularly with kids

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Definitely living in a bubble ourselves and are extremely privileged to have the opportunities we have.

I have this thought a few times a year - and ultimately think I’m selfish for wanting to keep living here just for the money. Bought a house too, but in my mind I keep thinking it’s just another 2-3 years until I move back home for a higher quality of life but lower pay, and closer to extended family.

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Definitely resonates. I’ve been in the US about 10 years now but was supposed to be a 1 year stay only… Current hypothesis is to move in 5-10 year and take advantage of school system

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I agree with others’ sentiments that you need to consider a whole bunch of factors when deciding where to live — money being one of many.

As an American who has lived in the US my entire life, is the US really that uncivilized compared to Nordic or Western European countries? I understand we have a mass shooting issue and that our politics can be a little extreme, but I have rarely ever felt unsafe in public or let the fear of shootings/crime deter me from living my life. Obviously, there are areas of town I avoid, but I guess that’s second nature to me.

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If you listen to the talking heads on cable news or read the articles from those networks you would think we are on the brink of imploding.

From big cities to small towns the vast majority of people are kind and couldn't care less about the color of your skin. Also I would say that the US has more talkative people than anywhere else I have been (Australia being a close second).

I chose high pay over being close to family. I thought I would be helping secure our kids future. Hindsight, it wasn't worth it. I left my support of not only my family but the community as well (I lived in a small town where everyone knows each other). I had to rebuild my network over the years but the relationships are not nearly as strong as the ones I spent 26 years developing before moving away.

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More civilized!! LOL…not making fun …but that was funny

Happy I could make your day more joyful

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I’m in the same boat for the same reasons and looking to move to Switzerland. Pay cut is huge but quality of life and peace of mind are worth it. I’ll see if I can get entrepreneurial while out there. One good thing about Europe is that even entry level jobs are paid good so wife might take a while to land something but once she does you might be pleasantly surprised by what she is able to make.

I have been considering Switzerland but a few things give me pause - 1) language (German and/of French) is pretty important to integrate; 2) culturally very conservative (not US “conservative”); 3) some of the larger cities are extremely expensive / definitely not value for money. But a lot of great things, incl decent (for Europe) pay, safe, great outdoor activities, and central location in Europe

Definitely not selfish, but it depends how you weight quality of life. Opportunities, financial freedom vs happiness, safety, equality.

I would move if I was in your spot

Why not move to Canada instead?
Weather wise, it’s same as Scandinavia :-)

Weather unfortunately won’t be babysitting our kid(s) or provide network and community that a big extended family and old childhood friends would.

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I'm moving to Australia with my family in January. Don't want my kids to normalize murder, guns, racism, shootings, materialism, etc. We're trying to maintain income but cost of living will go up substantially so we won't be able to save unless we make more compromise/sacrifice

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