It hit me the other day that every single person I talk to regularly is a coworker. My group texts are all lawyers, my happy hours are just firm gossip in disguise, and when I try to explain my job to people outside law, I feel like an alien. I want friends who don’t talk about billables or document review, but I don't know where to start between 60+ hour weeks and weekend catch-up. How do you make non-law friends with this kind of schedule as an adult?

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What worked for me was to cut back on the happy hours and drinking in general. The workplace drinking culture can breed negativity and also take up a lot of time—between the drinking and hangovers.

I replaced the extra time with other activities of interest to me, like taking yoga classes or volunteering. You can make new non-law friends this way.

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I didn’t go to the happy hours because I’m not doing the office gossip (and I don’t care if I’m being talked about). I schedule 2/3 after work events each month (preferably not around drinking) I do those and that’s it. If I’m in a conversation that is turning gossipy, I exit.

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You don’t. Law is your personality now—hope you like drinks with your doc review.

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I never dated other lawyers. That helps a lot. When I was still dating (I’m not single), I made that a “rule.” Of course I would’ve broken it for the right guy, but it seems to have served me well in my personal life.

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I had this problem at my firm! Workout classes and cooking classes/clubs (I joined my city’s chess club) were all ways I made friends when I finally got slow with work

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I dated (and eventually married) an accountant. We have some overlapping topics for work discussions (such as C corp vs. S corp) but for the most part it's more of "How was your day today?" conversation. I commiserate with her as April 15 approaches, and she stays clear when I get busy.

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You don’t want stupids as friends. They will drag you down into dumb stuff.

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Attorney 2 is giving Phoenix Law.
He would be filtered out too.

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Go to the bathroom and text me. Right after lunch.
I realized when I retired that I had lots of colleagues but few friends left. That’s because I had no time for them during my entire career.

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do u not have any friends from college or high school

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In defense of OP (because I had the same problem) I had moved to another city to work where I didn’t have high school/college friends. I’m thinking it may be similar for them. Totally feel this if you’re in the mindset of having stayed local after law school because you yourself did, but may not be their situation.

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Join a club like the Kiwanis. He will not only have non-lawyers to talk to you might pick up some clients.

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Yeah this is a big problem if you date another lawyer

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