I’ve noticed that whenever a woman is direct in a meeting, she’s labeled “abrasive,” but when a man does the same, he’s praised for being confident and assertive. I even had a manager suggest I “soften” my emails because they came off as too blunt—meanwhile, my male colleague replies with “Noted” or “Fix this” and gets applauded for being efficient. It’s exhausting having to filter every sentence to avoid being misread. Have you had to adjust your tone or communication style just to be taken seriously? How do you strike the balance between being clear and being “palatable”?

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I refuse to water myself down just to make other people more comfortable. If a man can be blunt, so can I. If that makes people uncomfortable, that’s on them—not me.

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Since the problem is usually between the ears of someone else, there's not a lot you can do to improve things from your own keyboard. I mean, if you're using standard business English, and you're exercising the usual professionalism that your work requires, that's it. You've done your job. If some Chad is a fragile snowflake who has trouble reading what you've written, that's too bad. His mommy should have toughened him up a little before sending him into the world.

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Huge double standard and have been talked to about this in some reviews. I do find the more I try to be palpable or walk the line, the more miscommunication happens and the longer things I need done start to take. I do still think a lot about it, but being direct gets more done even if somebody else wants to say something about it. It’s like you have to pick which losing side to be on.

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I received a written corrective action on this. Oddly, if you ask any male on my team it doesn’t bother them. It’s almost always a female that complains

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