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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels

funny

Why do milking stools only have 3 legs?

Cuz the cows got the utter 🐄

likefunny

If you need an ark…

I No-ah guy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

funny

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field

likefunny

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

like

Andy has 150 candy bars and eats 125 of them. What does he have now?

Diabetes

funnylike

My brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey

It was a rough couple of years, but he turned himself around

funny

Why did the can crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing

likefunny

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump

funny

How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his pizza before it was cool

funny

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?

Too many cheet-ahs

likefunny

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?


It’s fine tho, he woke up

funny

What’s brown and sticky?


A stick ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

funnysmart

The following joke is somewhat lewd. Read in the comments.

Why did the donut go to the dentist? To get a filling.

likefunny

The Blue Crab Bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon t… more

funny

Why should you wear glasses to maths class? Because it helps with division.

funnylike

I'd like to have kids one day..

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that though.

funny

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, … more

funny

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable

funny

I once took all of my watches and turned them into a belt. It was a waste of time.

funny

Why did the chicken cross the road

funny

Wow the week went by fast!
Time flies like an arrow....
And fruit flies like a banana

funny

To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.

funny

I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far.

This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.

funnylike

Gonna start a sausage stand and call it Wurst Behavior

funny

How does Lady Gaga like her steak?

(sing) Raw-raw-raw-ra-ah-aww

funny

Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?

Fo drizzle. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

funnylike

Happy Friday everyone!

Post Photo
funny

She jeffin on my bezos and it feel amazon

funnylike

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

funnylike

Why does the golfer wear two pants?

Because he’s afraid he might get a “hole-in-one”

funny

I’ve been stung! How could that be? 🐝

funny

I just met the saddest German ever… Hans down

funny

Why do melons have weddings?


Because they cantaloupe 🍈

funny

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was standing out in his field!

funny

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?

1Forrest1

funny

What did the employee do when the boss said to have a good day?

Went home 🏡

funny

What kind of concert costs 45 cents?


A 50 cent concert featuring nickleback🥳

funny

How does NASA organise a party?


They planet.

funny
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