One of the Of Counsel attorneys at my firm will ask me to do research, then send me like 10-20 page emails (multiple per day) where he just copies/pastes the statute into the email like "I think this may be helpful." No. No it's not.

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Posting as :
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I bet you die a little inside everytime you get a new notification.

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Marked urgent.

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Additional Posts in Shaking My Head - Legal Ridiculousness

The setup. Recent trial where OC was newly minted and should have referred this case out due to the complexity. OC asked both the treating doctor along with a doctor being used as an expert witness this question.
“Isn’t it true that if a person dies in their sleep, they won’t realize it until morning”
It was then I knew the jury would rule in my favor. Total shitshow.

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An old attorney didn’t realize White Claw was an alcoholic beverage until he showed up for a hearing chugging one down. Thought it was a flavored mineral water. The kicker is that when he met with clients, he offered bottles of water or White Claws. Guess there are no laws with White Claws.

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Most creative excuse for popping positive on meth, fetty, and subs when the Judge wants a drug screen. “My boyfriend gave me tacos that must have been laced.” Oh and she blew a .140. So warning - don’t accept tacos unless you see them made.

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Ever had an attorney randomly pull food that they somehow squished in their shoe during long court days. One day, it was taking forever in federal court due to the COVID backlog. An attorney was sitting at a table across from where I was sitting. Kept noticing him reaching down like he was scratching his foot then would bring his hand to his mouth. Very strange. Court concluded and I saw him by his car taking off his shoe and pulling a squished baggy with half a sandwich out of it.

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Back before Covid, I represented the parents in a will contest case against the wife of the deceased. It was a sham marriage but you know how people like to fight over minute stuff. The deceased had been cremated and the parties were fighting over who was entitled to the ashes. I had the box of ashes in my office. It was getting ridiculous. I found a big urn with mini urns and ordered it. Scooped them out a couple spoons and nipped it in the bud. I still have leftover ashes for refills.

Post Photo
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I defended a deposition the other day. The court reporter swears in my client, “Do you swear that everything you say shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” My client looks at me and says, “Who’s Shelby?”

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A partner asked me to talk to a potential new client. A small business looking to get certified as a CBE. I told the partner that the company was put off by our rates. But really, I told the potential new client that the government's CBE office has free resources including one on one guidance through the process.

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