Ever had an attorney randomly pull food that they somehow squished in their shoe during long court days. One day, it was taking forever in federal court due to the COVID backlog. An attorney was sitting at a table across from where I was sitting. Kept noticing him reaching down like he was scratching his foot then would bring his hand to his mouth. Very strange. Court concluded and I saw him by his car taking off his shoe and pulling a squished baggy with half a sandwich out of it.

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F*****-up story…please be constructive (but also open & direct)
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I just tested positive for COVID-19. Ask me anything you want. Anything. I’m a beacon of knowledge now and essentially a virologist l, epidemiologist, and family physician rolled into one. The power I wield over all you plebeians and proletariat is insurmountable to even the most worthy foe. Ask me my symptoms. Go ahead.

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PWC takes the lead in Covid-19 business development materials.

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Additional Posts in Shaking My Head - Legal Ridiculousness

An old attorney didn’t realize White Claw was an alcoholic beverage until he showed up for a hearing chugging one down. Thought it was a flavored mineral water. The kicker is that when he met with clients, he offered bottles of water or White Claws. Guess there are no laws with White Claws.

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One of the Of Counsel attorneys at my firm will ask me to do research, then send me like 10-20 page emails (multiple per day) where he just copies/pastes the statute into the email like "I think this may be helpful." No. No it's not.

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I defended a deposition the other day. The court reporter swears in my client, “Do you swear that everything you say shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” My client looks at me and says, “Who’s Shelby?”

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The setup. Recent trial where OC was newly minted and should have referred this case out due to the complexity. OC asked both the treating doctor along with a doctor being used as an expert witness this question.
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Most creative excuse for popping positive on meth, fetty, and subs when the Judge wants a drug screen. “My boyfriend gave me tacos that must have been laced.” Oh and she blew a .140. So warning - don’t accept tacos unless you see them made.

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A partner asked me to talk to a potential new client. A small business looking to get certified as a CBE. I told the partner that the company was put off by our rates. But really, I told the potential new client that the government's CBE office has free resources including one on one guidance through the process.

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