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$1.2M will definitely get you a townhome in an area with good school districts. A lot of out-of-towners like Carlsbad and I know Carlsbad has good schools. 4S ranch and rancho penasquitos are also good. And then obviously anywhere in the San Dieguito school district. Would you be working remote because traffic is also something to consider.
If you like city life you still feel it in any suburb.
Point Loma is expensive AF but so close to everything all those schools are great (nieces and nephews went to those schools).
Unfortunately that budget will be pretty limiting across many good neighborhoods in San Diego, for a decent size single family home. We like Carmel Valley, Del Mar, Solana Beach & Encinitas for schools
Cost is comparable in terms of normal day to day expenses. I exited consulting a year after I moved here and have been happy with my salary trajectory. Childcare is expensive everywhere 🙃
Del Mar, Carmel Valley, Coronado, Point Loma, Encinitas, Carlsbad... to name a few 😊
I forgot to mention Liberty Station in Point Loma. It would be perfect for you. It's a townhouse community near a large park and art & events area: https://libertystation.com/
https://www.rentable.co/san-diego-ca/lovely-liberty-station-2-bed-townhome-at-anchor-cove-small-pet-ok
For school districts consider San Deguito or Poway or San Bernadino. Rent first. Market is softening but not enough yet. $1.2 in San Deguito (which includes Del Mar, Carmel Valley) will get you a townhome. Could get you a fixer upper in Poway. And then what schools you choose depends on your kids, their learning style and ages. Don’t just take one person’s word for it. Some families send kids to different high schools simply because one child learns at one speed and the other at another, or one is into sports and the other into STEM. Shop around. Do the due diligence. And take your time. It is a great area but like everywhere there are plusses and minuses. And no matter where you go, the students who end up in top universities by and large got support from outside their HS (ie parents, siblings, tutors and coaches). Good luck!
Thanks this is very helpful. We have one kid who will be 3 when we plan to make the move (sometime next summer). Agreed that we’ll need to rent and do our due diligence on an area we ultimately like. I looked on realtor just to see what we can work with it, and it does seem that our budget is essentially limited to 3/4br townhouses which is fine with us. If the market does ever soften enough we can always get a house in the future, but this isn’t a priority at the moment.