Pregnant for the second time after a miscarriage earlier this year. Both pregnancies I have had close to a full first trimester of the usual symptoms - nausea, dry heaving, fatigue, headaches, etc. I am hoping for the best this time, but also utterly exhausted, sick all the time, especially after basically going through this twice in ~six months. Making it to leave (if the pregnancy continues, I don’t take that for granted) seems impossible. How do women do it? 5th year at the end of my rope.

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Apply for FMLA immediately. The job can wait.

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Thank you for this. I will look into it.

Agreed with A1. Also I would recommend over communicating to the partners you work with that you are having tough symptoms and are concerned with your capacity to continue on your deals/cases given your current limitations. I am 8 months pregnant and had to learn to really speak up for myself to not be drowning in work. Not everyone will listen/fully respect it, but most have been receptive and has made it easier to go through vs. pretending everything is normal.

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So, I also had a tough pregnancy with my first and was so desperate to “make it” to when I would be on leave. I had no idea how much work learning to breastfeed and caring for a newborn would be. I thought having a baby would be like finishing my last final exam and heading home for summer break. I was delusional, it’s not that. Anyway, my advice to myself at the time would have been to figure out how to take breaks, get rest, and feel good during pregnancy, rather than trying to white knuckle my way over the “finish line.” Friends have had success with things like acupuncture, massage, etc. Really focus on yourself mama, you deserve to feel good, or as good as possible.

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This is such an important and helpful comment, thank you. I completely have this attitude of white-knuckling and it’s not sustainable in the long-term, and totally ignores the new marathon of actually having a newborn. I am continuing to try and carve out time for me - sometimes this is not even a choice, I am too sick to power through it - but that might mean having a conversation with the head partner in our group or working something out with HR. I think I am going to try to hold out til the 12 week appt, which is very soon, but if things don’t improve at that point it makes sense to reevaluate my capacity.

Thanks for taking the time to reply and share your experience.

Strongly recommend asking about intermittent FMLA leave. I’m just exiting the trenches of a rough first trimester (also nausea, dry heaving, gagging, exhaustion, etc) and I ended up having intermittent leave approved because there were days (usually a few per week) where I literally just could not get through a full workday at my normal capacity. My firm was really accommodating and I ended up just writing off between 5-15 hours per week to FMLA leave for about a month when my symptoms were at their worst. It made the experience survivable. And realistically, I’m sure no one wanted me at meetings randomly retching into a vomit bag 😅

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And I’m so sorry you went through this. I wish there was more visibility into first trimester accommodations - all the focus is on maternity leave, but first trimester can literally be debilitating. Glad you were able to get accommodated.

There are some OTC meds/supplements you can take - talk to your doctor. I found keeping something in my stomach all the time helped a lot, I would keep little bags of pretzels and Goldfish all over the place and pretty much munch on them all day. There are sour hard candies called Preggie Pops you can get on Amazon that helped. I felt a lot better after I got past that first trimester. Congratulations and sending good vibes.

This is me. Starting at 2-3 I get pretty significant heartburn/indigestion which makes me extremely nauseous. And have daily headaches. I’ve had to really cut out sugar which exacerbates it. I pretty much take Pepcid at 3:30 daily to be able to even make it to eat something at dinner. I agree you need to eat something every 1-2 hours to stay on top of it (which is hard for me considering most easy snacks have sugar in them). For the headaches my OB recommend starting a magnesium vitamin daily or to take excedrin headache (which has caffeine and is supposed to help) so ask your doc about that.

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Please ask your Dr about Zofran! It saved me during the first 5ish months. My rainbow baby was built on saltines, ramen, and water for the first 5.5 months, no kidding. Zofran was the only thing that got me through the day and let me eat some fruits or bland veggies sometimes!
Just a warning that it can make you very constipated. I already have constipation issues and had to take laxatives daily essentially to make sure I pooped more than once every two weeks. I’m sure the diet didn’t help lol But talk about constipation when you ask about Zofran, too.

I also told my bosses earlier than I wanted to (12 weeks) because I needed them to know I couldn’t travel, may be late in the morning because of sickness, and would sometimes just run off to the bathroom mid call. They’d eventually find out anyway if I tried to wait, and they were super understanding!

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