The partner I work with is constantly “on” and texts, emails, calls at literally all hours. Weeknights, weekends, 2am, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been trying to be responsive because I’m terrified of being seen as uncommitted or not a “team player,” but it’s wearing me down. My sleep is wrecked, and I’m starting to dread every buzz on my phone. Would you set boundaries and risk looking difficult?

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Stop answering. If you train them to expect 2am replies, you’ll never get your life back—respect goes to the people who set limits.

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Silence your phone from 10 PM-7 AM. Be polite, responsive (which means always responding within a couple of hours during business hours), professional, and excellent, but also be unapologetic about not responding between 10 PM and 7 AM. If there are any questions, just keep responses light and brief— “I was asleep when your email came in, but I’ll jump on this first thing.”

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Agreed. This happened to me with a partner and it got to the point where he was clearly taking advantage of the fact that I would respond. He would start having theoretical conversations at like 1AM for half an hour and then would scold me for billing for conversations where he was obviously “training” me.

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I would bill. But then be yelled at for doing so. So it was like “those should be billable hours” but I had to deal with his wrath for him even having to write it off.

Have long moved on, but there is a reason why that partner was literally firm-barred from working with associates without a junior partner involved.

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Talk to him. Find out what his expectations are for off hours communications. Is he just sending his thought in the moment so he doesnt forget, or does he expect you to respond and engage? If it is the latter, try to set some boundaries.

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Phew, no advice. I’m quitting though, and can’t wait to put in my two-week notice. If I were you and couldn’t afford to quit, I may consider going higher up the ranks by talking to another partner that I know can do something about it.

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If you are at a white shoe firm, I can’t speak to this. Otherwise, set boundaries. Yes we like team players but everything within reason.

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I worked for someone like this at a boutique firm owned by the person I worked for, who also employed a few other junior attorneys. There wasn't an easy answer. Someone hired after me drew good boundaries at the very beginning, and lasted the longest. I didn't, and lasted the shortest. I don't think it would have worked if I changed the way I responded a year in or something. This may not be what you're looking for, but I think you're in a bad situation and should move on. YMMV

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Ask for advice on how responsive you should be. If they want you “on” whenever they’re on, it’s time to start looking for somewhere with more reasonable expectations. But if they’re just sending stuff when they think of it, set firm boundaries and respond during reasonable hours.

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