The worst kind of bullying happens when there is a kid with terrible social skills. My first year, I had a student who would make social mistakes and refuse to learn from them. His parents would sing his praises and say he was 'direct.' The kid would eventually get bullied.

I wish parents would take more responsibility for teaching their kids social skills. I don't think schools can effectively teach social skills past elementary. What are your thoughts on bullying?

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My daughter is a level one on the autism spectrum, meaning that she looks and seems perfectly normal, but she couldn’t follow multistep directions, didn’t comprehend the intent or context of some conversations, and her social skills were variable. Never a behavioral problem, but her feelings would often be hurt, and she would shut down because she would respond to a question or conversation according to her interpretation of the situation, and it would result in kids and the teachers laughing at or admonishing her. On one occasion, several girls were chitchatting like kids do and when they asked her opinion, she responded “I like grapes.”… which obviously had nothing to do with the conversation. On another occasion, she was changing classes in ninth grade, and somehow lost her pencil between classes. She asked the teacher for a pencil and, in front of the class, the teacher made her give her one of her shoes in exchange for the pencil to make sure she got it back at the end of class. and yes, she did have an IEP. Sorry for the long text, but you struck a nerve because while my daughter was very well mannered, her social skills were something that she continues to work to develop, even at the age of 21, and it had nothing to do with our parenting. My point is that bullying comes in all shapes and sizes, from peers and sadly from staff as well.

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