This is a emotional rant

My wife and I went through three rounds of IVF, with two retrievals. Unfortunately, we had no success. This has been emotionally draining for both of us.

At our last appointment, the doctor suggested we try again. Only she said, “you know, we should go stronger. I thought about this at the beginning, but decided against it”.

With that comment, I finally broke and went only once we’ve spent $50k do you think to mention this?

I am now convinced this was a money grab

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Possibly she was concerned about ovarian hyperstimulation, which is very serious. I had a similar experience where we really went for it my third cycle and had success. I'm sorry for your troubles and I hope the next Mother's Day brings you happiness!

likehelpfuluplifting

So you have embryos left? Your post is unclear as to whether you got PGT tested embryos out of the two retrievals, and whether you attempted any embryo transfers.

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They were, yes. Both transplants failed

I feel your pain. I’m on my fourth round, with age-factor for my side, plus male factor for my husband, which makes IVF the only viable method for us. We had two successful retrievals but only one transplant (we are PGT testing- I’m not going through multiple miscarriages on top of this stress, and I live in a state where it may be medically unsafe to miscarry due to lack of treatment), which didn’t take. This whole process is heartbreaking. It violates every social standard we’ve been led to believe in - that if you do things right and listen to the professionals, you’ll have a certain outcome. But nature is not always kind.

It does make one wonder how humanity has continued on for so long if it’s this damn hard to have a baby.

Sending you so much internet love and baby dust.

likeuplifting

Do you think your doctor intentionally wanted you to fail so that they can get more cycles out of you? I doubt that. They also have success rates to hit.
Is the number of eggs retrieved expected and in line with AMH? Depending on your wife’s age and AMH, two failed cycles may be expected. Of course it’s emotionally hard to take.
The doctor did not know that before the first cycle. Part of the IVF cycles are to understand her body’s response to meds so that they can adjust protocols or doses next time. If the dose is higher, it may reduce synchrony and result in run-away lead follicles. So it’s hard to say if a higher dose will lead to better results. If the starting FSH dose is 225 units/day or higher, it’s standard.

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I don’t think our doctor wanted them to fail. I would actually recommend our doctor to anyone in the Chicagoland-area. She has been absolutely amazing.

As I said previously, this is probably just my emotions getting the better of me.

She did mention she expected more eggs from the cycle(s). But, due to a pre-existing condition my wife has, we should set lower expectations compared to others.

I think, the fact she mentioned she should have tried higher dosages at our last appointment, right when our insurance policy ran out, kind of sent me over the edge.

Sadly, I was only pushed to get tested for certain issues once my two transfers with pgt tested embryos failed. Transfer protocol also changed and I was successful on my fourth round of IVF that resulted in one embryo and a birth. Good luck to you and I truly believe no one understands the heartbreak or rollercoaster unless you experienced it yourself

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I did 3 rounds of egg retrievals but 4 rounds of IVF. My first round had few eggs and I decided to cancel cycle before egg retrieval. Good luck to you on your transfer!! Sticky vibes all of the way!!!

uplifting

Cont: I am sure this is an emotional post, but my wife and I are distraught. Why would a specialist lead us on and give us so much hope, only to completely change tact once the insurance money is gone?

Thanks for sharing. This is a difficult journey.
When you say “three rounds of IVF, with two retrievals,” Do you mean 2 egg retrievals and 3 frozen embryo transfers? Or do you mean one round of retrieval was cancelled due to poor response?

Three rounds, two successful retrievals, one unsuccessful.

likehelpful

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