{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Flying home from a 5 day tropical vacation. It’s the first time I didn’t work while on vacation since 1998. That includes faxing copy from my honeymoon, flying home early to work on a pitch, writing in the hotel room bathroom while my family slept, staying in the room while my family went to Disneyland, etc. This time, I never read an email, answered a text, I deleted slack from my phone before I left. It’s been great. Not trying to trigger struggle porn just saying boundaries are 😌", "post_id": "616791921ad24f002c6adbbd", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 18, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising" }

Flying home from a 5 day tropical vacation. It’s the first time I didn’t work while on vacation since 1998. That includes faxing copy from my honeymoon, flying home early to work on a pitch, writing in the hotel room bathroom while my family slept, staying in the room while my family went to Disneyland, etc. This time, I never read an email, answered a text, I deleted slack from my phone before I left. It’s been great. Not trying to trigger struggle porn just saying boundaries are 😌

likeuplifting
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5 days is not a vacation. 5 days is what you take after an appendectomy

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Why did you feel you couldn't do this before?

likesmart

Combination of the work culture I was a part of and my own priorities being skewed toward “needing to be involved” especially once I hit the VP/CD level. The honeymoon thing was a pro-Bono thing I was really into, but looking back it could have waited ten days. Also, no matter how much I planned ahead, it always seemed something came up when I had a trip: a production, a pitch, a “critical client meeting” or work that needed reviewing. Once I became a ECD/CCO I resigned myself to the fact I’d never have a day off until I retire. Looking back (and I think the business is getting better at understanding this — somewhat) planning ahead and/or delegating would have been fine. Now I just tell everyone “it will all work out…it will get done. It’s fine.” Set the tone of confidence and ease instead of alarm and danger.

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This is a cautionary tale for all the younger people here. Do NOT do what they have done. Do not not be present for your own honeymoon. Do not miss precious time with your kids at Disney when they are young. I can guarantee you that when you are older, memories of time spent with loved ones will matter more than memories of that time you got copy done over the weekend.

likehelpful

100 percento.

Why only 5 days?!

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I'm pretty sure I've stumbled upon your depressing life story a year ago. Either as a post or a reply to someone else's post. Because the honeymoon and Disneyland stuff triggers a déjà vu. Anyway, I'm glad you finally got to relax and have some fun with your family. But damn...being an ECD that literally no one outside the ad industry knows about isn't worth wasting your (and your family's) life.

likesmart

Just make sure you teach those who work for you how to set those boundaries too. I fear for them.

likesmart

proud of you!

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I’m happy for you, OP. I’ve been trying to set boundaries over the past year, too. It’s life changing. I pat myself on the back every time I protect my weekends, give timing based on the 8 hour work day not the creative 12-14, and take time off to do nothing but sit on my ass without checking email. Good on you for learning new habits. It’s not easy.

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I hope you’re as open with your team about this. Seeing a manager set boundaries during PTO is admirable and important

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I’m just sorry it took this long where you felt safe enough to disconnect. Keep at it!

Positive change OP keep it up

Also worth noting- you could have said “Hey people in advertising & our industry at large: I don’t expect you to live like this. I have pissed away far too much time and sought glory in ways that in retrospect are completely meaningless. I wanted to let you know that from now on, I will demand change, empower my teams to make WLB a priority, and push back on the executive leadership, account teams, and finance officers when they ask to squeeze blood from a stone. I won’t judge anyone for leaving ‘early’ to get their kid from school, or make snide remarks about someone taking ‘another long weekend, hmmmm’, and I definitely will not penalize or punish anyone on my team who says ‘I need a break’ or ‘I’m going through some things and I need help’ or ‘I need to see my partner because they’re struggling and I haven’t been present enough’. I will continue to advocate for a better way of working, and I will be a voice of reason in the room when staffing decisions are being made”. No? You didn’t say that. Because I think, when I read something like this, it is actually a way for you to reinforce that your experience is what you expect from others. And even if you don’t say it or express it, I read these masochistic statements and I think maybe, you’re one of those people who wants other people to suffer as you have. And then allllllll the people reading this- those who have hoped of being an ECD somewhere, finally reaching a pinnacle in your career- believe overtly or subtly that in order to get to this level- THIS is the sacrifice it will take to achieve it. And that alone makes so many women and people who want to have lovers, children, trips, hobbies, pursuits beyond the corporate ladder rat race, that alone makes so many of us second guess this industry and leave it. Because if that’s what it takes to make it as an (presumably white man? Could be wrong?) ECD, we don’t want it. You deserve better. We all deserve better. TLDR- this post reinforced disgusting and exploitative working & labor practices and makes it appear that this type of behavior is what it takes to be successful in advertising.

@FL2- While I have sympathy for your message, I think you’re taking out a lot of frustration and anger on a person who pretty much said (in their own way) what you wish they had said. In AA, when someone admits to being an alcoholic, I doubt the room is supposed to respond with a diatribe about how terrible it is to drink.

likehelpful

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