Any big law single parents out there? I had a baby and came back from mat leave ready to go only for my child's other parent to leave and make me a single parent to a 6 month old. Would love to hear success stories. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed even with a nanny.

I did for 4 years, got completely burnt out, quit for 4 months and then went back to the same firm at a 50% reduced hour schedule.

I am, but my kids are school age. I am having/ have had a hell of a time - and wouldn’t wish single parenting on my worst enemy. Having a solid job and income help tremendously though.

Any chance you have family nearby who is willing to help? I’d staff up as much as possible and get a good lawyer who makes sure you get child support. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

Not me but there are at least two partners in my office who are single parenting and, while their kids are a bit older now, they are doing great (though everything is always a balance). I have thought about it as well though I currently have a partner, I froze my eggs and am preparing to do it on my own if need be. Sending my best thoughts to you!

I am, to a three year old toddler! I do have some help from my ex husband, but I am the primary parent. It gets easier as they get older, don't give up! Working at a firm that is not FaceTime heavy is key.

I am not a single parent, but I am a mom, and I know how hard the first 6 months (and thereafter) can be - for newborn life AND for postpartum life. I am just SO sorry you’re going through this. I hate it for you and your baby. But you both will prevail ❤️ when I was delivering my baby, my doctor made me repeat after her, and hopefully this encourages you: “I am a mom now. I can do hard things.”

You’re not alone. Millions of moms before you, and many after you have experienced this and have THRIVED and succeeded, and done incredible things in their life AND been great moms. You baby will be so proud of all you have overcome ❤️

Are you able to cut your hours to a manageable level? Even to like 80%? Also I would be kind to yourself - the first year back after a kid is rough even with another parent. Can you outsource anything else? Cleaning lady? Meal prep? Laundry? So that you can focus on baby and work.

Also, I suggest having a candid convo with your managing partner if you feel comfortable doing that about where you are at and what you can do. I did that when I came back after having my second kiddo - I really believed I needed to quit law. And they basically told me to do my best and to check in a few months later. It really help my stress of (not quite) meeting billables knowing I wasn’t going to “get in trouble”.

Just wanted to chime in to say everything difficult in your life to date you were able to overcome, succeed and thrive. This will not break you, and there will be another side to this. Be kind to yourself, cry or scream when you need to and know you have a bunch of people on her rooting for you!

Also want to chime in here on the reduced schedule given I have not been on one but many of my fellow parents have. If you're in BL, it's very difficult to work a true reduced schedule given client demands, so you end up doing the same thing for less pay and with a hit to your "track." I've found that being in a speciality area and having understanding senior attorneys is so helpful. Also don't over explain yourself. Sometimes you're not available and you don't owe anyone a detailed explanation.
You're gonna be so proud of yourself and all the amazing, hard things you did, I promise.

Find a practice area that’s more predictable with a better wlb

I am, but my career suffers in many ways as a result. The answer is that this will work in some practice areas, and not in others. I cannot envision this working in most transactional groups, where you really don’t have much control over your schedule until you’re fairly senior.

Yup. Single mom by choice, so I’ve been solo from the get go. I’m at 80% and it’s been really manageable—though I’ve definitely relied on nearby family for help at times. Do you have parents or siblings around who can watch your kid if you have a need to travel or be at the office late on occasion?

I’m so sorry this happened to you. It must have been devastating. You can do this. Message me if you want to chat more.