At my firm, “mentorship” means I draft a memo at 2 a.m., get cryptic redlines the next morning, and maybe—maybe—the partner will nod at me in the hallway. I’ve asked for feedback, offered to grab coffee, even joined the firm’s formal mentorship program. But honestly? It all feels like performative lip service. I’m in my third year now, billing 2,100+ hours, and starting to worry that without a real mentor, I’m just surviving—not growing. Everyone says mentorship is key in law, but no one actually seems to be doing it. So tell me: have you actually had a mentor? If so, how did that relationship start—and stick?

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It’s tough because most partners were never mentored themselves, so they don’t know how to give it. I found a real mentor only after switching practice groups—someone who genuinely cared about teaching. Sometimes it takes moving around to find someone who sees your potential, not just your productivity.

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At my current firm (lateraled as a fourth year associate) I was assigned a formal mentor that didn’t really work out so I found my mentor outside of the formal mentorship program - basically I did a couple transactions with him and we just hit it off as far as personalities and working styles.

I now have three mentors myself, none of whom came through the formal process (we still have one but I opted out, preferring my own method). All three (a senior, a mid level, and a junior) all work with me on my clients and projects, and we get lunch/dinner/drinks regularly.

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When I think of mentorship, I consider individuals who not only assist and encourage me professionally, but socially, emotionally and spiritually. To be the type of advocate I want to be for others, my legal skillset and ability to grow my clientele alone cannot be the focus. Other areas of my life need to be enhanced as well, otherwise (in my opinion), I’m no good for anyone.

Some of the mentors that I’ve had in my career were introduced to me from colleagues and family members. They include a mix of retired legal practitioners (attorneys and judges) as well as medical professionals. The law-based practitioners imparted wisdom to me regarding the practice of law, networking, and maintaining work-life balance. The medical professionals imparted wisdom on working with flawed humanity (including myself) and community outreach - meeting the needs of those who are hurting around me. Together, the cumulative wisdom from both groups helped shape the way I practice law and honestly, maintain my sanity.

I still reach out to a few of them when I can, but it’s difficult when you’re busy with work and life in general. They’re busy as well with retirement and/or other endeavors, but I think it helps to drop them a line periodically, even if it’s just to express thanks for their encouragement over the years. Frequent communication is key!

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My former managing partner was a fantastic mentor. He realized that was part of what was agreed to when he hired a baby associate. I’ve tried to carry that forward and mentor several people through formal and informal programs. It’s about finding people you naturally mesh with and then supporting or letting yourself be supported by them. Don’t underestimate the power of grabbing lunch or a drink together too.

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