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I honestly feel like it has been impossible. People are always using my Harvard degrees to ostracize me, claiming I am “the smartest person in the room” and it makes them “uncomfortable.” I have been told numerous times that I “always have an opinion” which is supposedly a big negative.
Moreover, it is very hard to connect in any real way with the men who often schedule client trips around sporting events and such, while their wives stay home to watch their kids. As a single mother raising my two children alone, I have no ability to go with them; I only go for the client meetings themselves. I am then locked out of critical networking and deal-making.
Almost every culture I have worked in has had tons of backstabbing among women and men alike. In fact, the most pernicious, hostile executives have been women.
For me, I missed the responsibility part and was associating it with the power part alone. And I also didn't realize that the job search/thinking about career does not go away. I had this image of making it and being finished. But then once you've "made it" into an exciting position you're always still making it, so that's really one of the weirdest adjustments I had to make.
I learned you can make it, then be impacted by unexpected company layoffs and have to take a significant cut, starting anew in a space where your role/level is much lower and no longer exec. Humbling.
I learned that women at the top aren’t always eager to help other women climbing up the ranks. Especially those one level down. The most talented aspiring women are often the targets of lack of support from those women at the top.
Learning that the struggle to balance family / kids vs work is real.. work gets demanding with a lot more responsibility and kids need lot more mom care and attention (that’s hard to replace with Dad’s).. everyday is a choice between personal life vs professional focus.. trade offs are real and there is no perfect answer!
I think it has been every bit of what I thought it would be. Work can be very demanding and I feel that I am not always respected by my male counterparts which is exactly what I thought it woudl be to be honest.