Feeling low. Turning 40 in a few days and I’m only a Sr. Manager. Moved from Big4 to Tier2 strategy consulting. Never wanted to stay in consulting but now feel stuck and lack perspective. It took me that long coz i could not figure out things earlier (you don’t know what you don’t know).
I feel that even if I take this path seriously now, it’s too late. The untold rule is you must make Partner by 40, or it’s too late.
I am depressed overall. Anyone can provide perspective or positive insight.

Wait, Sr Manager at 40 is behind now? What is this unspoken rule? All my SM friends are late 30’s/early40’s and very strong in their career paths or have pivoted to new companies for promotion or entrepreneurship. Partners for us have to retire by 62 - seems ridiculous to expect such a steep climb and then plateau.

Might be a stupid question but :
1. why do you want to make partner?
2. Why is it important to you beyond status and money?
3. Do you have anything other than your career that brings you a sense of achievement and life well lived?
4. Do you know what making partner entails (stress, constraints, perks and all) and are you ready to embrace it?
You're the only one who can give yourself perspective, we can only help with the questions you need to address. Also, yeah it's a rat race and a carrot that's dangled. I made SM at 33 despite my best efforts not to, now I'm trying to get out because I do not want to make MD / Partner. From where I'm standing it's just selling your soul to the devil and being completely disconnected from life and people...

It sounds like you've been given bad information; it's definitely not too late - a colleague made the equivalent of partner at my company this year and he's in his late 50s (no requirement for him to retire at 62, though).

Pretty much in the same situation and sharing similar feelings - turning 40 this year, Senior Manager at a T1 firm and prob 2 more years before promotion to Principal/AP as per current market and a backlog of Mgrs with the most tenured having priority. Not married, no kids, was in a relationship until last year when I got suddenly dumped by my ex- who couldn’t take more of the consulting lifestyle and was also emotionally immature. So feeling stuck too - not achieving career-wise, and not having started a family. Trying to keep on pushing and keeping a positive outlook, taking it one step at a time and not comparing to others, it’s tough but be kind with yourself. All of this to say that you’re not alone x

You’re well ahead of 95% of most people, maybe 99%.

Don’t compare yourself to some super elite shortlist of people. Besides, you have another 25 years to work. What do you want to do after making partner?

42 and a manager here. Totally fine with it. Found a sustainable work-life balance. Social and romantic life are not squeezed by work hours anymore. Some of us find that the rat race has no point and being right here right now is just fine… there’s no shame in being happy where you are.

Sr manager at 40 is behind??

For context, I am a 30 year old senior manager, so I understand why you feel behind. This is important context for others to understand when they respond.

I think it's important to recognize pretty much no one makes partner anyway. I'm watching it happen at Strategy& and seeing news articles about how the partner model is crumbling.

When you take that out of the equation, it may become less stressful. You can't be behind on something that is unattainable period. Instead you can focus on excelling on what you enjoy. If that's consulting, great. If it's not, then plenty of people pivot careers in their forties.

I am 42 and an associate partner at a tier 3 or tier 4 organization. I am also being laid off very soon.

Like you- I also moved continents, clients and roles: gained and lost some with every move. I did not know how and why to build the narrative on my wholesome experience.

1. I have realized we all don't start from the same place. So it's not necessary we end at the same place at the same time.

2. Doing your work heads down does not ever help.


3. I am too old to become a partner at a big 4. Wait, I can still turn around and work on some things and become a partner in 10 years. But do I want to pay the price? I don't think I enjoy it as much right now, so it's a solid No.

4. Maybe making an industry exit right now is for the best.


5. There is more to me than my resume and a job title. So I have started focusing on things that bring me joy. Which I did not when I was younger.

Unless you’re at an MBB firm where they typically have an accelerated path, making Partner before 40 is not the norm, it’s rare. Your career is a long game, and it’s not always linear because there will be opportunities for growth that aren’t necessarily higher level.

I think you should consider therapy because regardless of what anyone says, you have low self esteem and negative mindset you have to shift.

OP are you SM1 or eg. SM5 cause it’s a huge difference. SM1 is a bit late but not outrageous