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The people I’ve see make it work have help (hired or family) filling the gaps with childcare, rides, house cleaning, meal prep, etc. They have to make tough choices about what to prioritize and when (ex. Your kid has a band concert the night before a big project deadline - do you skip the concert or potentially present a subpar project), and often both the job and kid end up feeling like they’re not getting enough attention.
It’s possible, sure, but it’s tough.
I agree, I’m a single mother working in public accounting. I hire my family for the gaps in childcare rides, etc. I plan ahead a lot. I put my kids straight on my calendar if they have any events and I plan around them.
I’ve also been thinking about this as we start to plan to get pregnant in the spring. I wanted both of us to grind it out until retirement, but I really don’t see a way that will allow me to feel good about it all. I think I’ll take a somewhat reduced schedule 60-80% and we’ll also have hired help for chores/meals bc I don’t wanna look back when I’m old and realize I gave more to my job than my family just for a little bit more money in the bank. But it all depends on what you want to do. I just think this message of “you can do it all” is lacking some serious context of the true sacrifices.
I am on a reduced schedule (35 hrs year-round/no busy season) and my firm and colleagues all respect my hours. I do not work over those hours and no one expects me to. I will say I am not on the partner track and that is not one of my goals. But I have no problems with performance reviews, promotions, or respect within the firm.
Whatever you do, prioritize your kids activities first. Never put work before your kids even if it means giving a subpar presentation. They are only little for so long and you will regret putting work first. Take it from someone who knows. Mine are adults now. Jobs come and go and they will drop you like a hot cake if they need to. You can’t get the time back when they are growing…ever, and these moments are precious and should be cherished.
The saying that nobody on their death bed ever said, “I wish I had worked more”, is true. Food for thought.
If you can do it I recommend a modified schedule. This will allow you to have more family time but also continue with your career.
I have help. A housekeeper to clean my house twice a month, and Nanny in the summer when the kids are out of school. And I work a flex schedule the rest of the time with no busy season hours. I do carpool everyday and my husband is the breadwinner so his needs at work overtake mine. I don't travel often but when I need to he's able to accommodate that.. I will say that this is a second career for me so when I went into public accounting my kids were already school aged
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I do not have reduced hours but I have been fortunate to have had understanding leadership that has always put their people first. Even still, it is extremely difficult and stressful. I agree with a previous poster, do not ever sacrifice the time with your kids. set firm boundaries, make sure to communicate your needs well, outsource what you can at home (cleaning/grocery/yardwork) and lean on your village (we pay for ours bc no family nearby). Everyday is a new challenge but my kid is always first and I have just accepted that for now everything else is a juggling act and something less important than family will usually be falling behind.