Has anyone ever gotten to a point where they are crying and have consistent physical anxiety symptoms about having to go to work and interact with a specific partner? How did you deal with it?

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Yes, & it was horrible on so many levels. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that.

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Prayer! You need a supernatural intervention. Your strength and courage to diplomatically stand up to partners and demand to be treated with the same respect that they (the partners) expect for themselves comes from the Lord. I don’t know your faith, but when I’ve been mistreated at work by partners and/or supervisors, I lifted up a prayer then said what I needed to say unashamed and unafraid.

I had to get to the point in my career where I would not allow a human being’s repugnant behavior determine my destiny. The world is not in their hands!

I’m sorry to read that so many attorneys are facing some degree of this treatment and feel too frightened to speak up for themselves out of fear that they would lose their job, be placed on a PIP or receive a negative evaluation that could potentially impact a bonus. You’ll get through this! Watch what prayer can do! I’m praying for you.

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I do not know your entire situation but that sounds horrible. If you do not feel like you can go to HR confidentially, you might want to start to put feelers out there. Being honest though it is a tough market right now.

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I was there 10 years ago — tight chest at night, racing thoughts and sleeplessness, a physical reaction every time their name popped up in my inbox. Magnesium, breath work, and therapy all helped, but really, it didn’t get better until I got transferred to a different boss.
Human beings exist and working for them is so much better. Your body might be telling you you need to make a change.

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I work with 2 partners, and I experience a lesser version of this with one of them very regularly. I guess I deal with it by speaking up to establish/understand expectations regarding timing, depth, scope, etc. And also it helps to connect with other associates who can relate, so you feel more normal. But like I said, I experience a lesser version of what you’re describing, and my experience may not be as relatable to what you’re going through.

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Have you tried pretending to be the lawyer you tell other lay-people that you are?

Oh that’s totally different than what I thought you were doing there :)

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Yes. It was debilitating. I had to leave my job because of it.

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