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If negotiating makes them treat you differently, they never respected you to begin with. Men negotiate all the time with no fallout. Ask for your worth—and if they resent you for it, leave.
Something I realized is that when I negotiate, I feel like I have to further prove myself above and beyond. Not sure if they were actually demanding this from me.
So I would suggest to question whether the people are actually acting different or if you are just perceiving them as being different.
Either way, block them out and channel your inner man - they never question what other people are thinking of them. I am still learning how to do this myself
Very good point and something I struggle with
I was told early on that anything that can be negotiated should be. Otherwise people won't respect you, they'll think you're a pushover. If you negotiate and you later think people have an attitude about you, don't let it bother you. They may have liked you better if you came off as a pushover, but that's not better for you. It's better for you to take the cash and let people think whatever they want.
I don’t know that I care that much if I did indeed get more money out of it. I could make it a full time job to worry and think about things I do and how they impact others viewing me. The only negotiation backfire I had was when I didn’t get anything more out of it, but even then it is a learning experience and I will not regret trying.
Pro
I totally get that concern, but I see it a bit differently. Negotiating sets the tone for how you value yourself. If a company or team changes their attitude just because you asked for what you're worth, that says more about them than you. I’d rather know upfront if they see self-advocacy as a problem.
Definitely think it says more about them than you! Let them hate while you’re getting that cash money
Do you feel that by asking for more. You end up with a target on your back and are scrutinized for performance all the time ? Seems like men get away with failures easier than women