Hello ladies, I need your advice. I am 32, earning 22 LPA. While searching for a guy in arranged marriage, my parents ask me to consider the guys who are 35+ but don't even earn 10 LPA. According to them, if the person is well educated and has a good family background it should be ok. But I feel these guys are not serious about their careers and if i marry them then all financial responsibilities of running the house would fall on me alone. Is my thought process right or am I overthinking?

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Personal preference but you should know nothing lasts forever. When I met my husband in an arranged setup 4 years ago, he made close to half of what I used to make. Today he makes more than I do. Career is a 30 plus year trajectory and some professions have different graphs. IT has high growth early then stagnation. Lawyers and doctors sometimes earn lesser till they build their base but later grow exponentially.
If you ask me, you should consider folks earning 12 LPA and above for practical reasons but do not hold on to “earning more than I do”. Also you should be looking for compatibility and life views. A well educated and good family background doesn’t equal compatible. Basically prioritise compatibility more than other things.

likesmarthelpful

Still depends on what is important to one and their lifestyle. I wanted a person who would treat me, my family and my career to be as important as is his. I wasn’t willing to do all the household chores and cooking while he took care of financial aspects. I would contribute to all financial responsibilities and I expected he would contribute equally to household responsibilities and communicated this to all prospects I met.

My husband was in his thirties when we got married. We have our own space since the start of our marriage and don’t live with my in laws even though we are in the same city. We are on great terms with them and our living arrangements are with their blessing as they believe we need space as a couple. My husband does half the household chores and we split expenses. I send home money to my parents and don’t interfere with what he sends to his family as long as our predefined expenses and investments as a couple are done.
As long as 15 lpa covers our joint expenses and investments, I would be fine. If I need anything, I can always buy with my own money. A woman could marry a 40 LPA man but still have a terrible quality of life if there is no peace, freedom and equality in her marital home.

likeuplifting

A man's POV :

if I am earning 20+ then why should I go for 32yr old women I deserve young beautiful.

Money is not that much important for men....if a girl is kind and looks average he will choose her even if she is not earning.

ps- if hes kind and compatible don't loose him...

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I was in love with a guy who is senior to me but cleared his graduation after 3 years of my completion.. I got campus selected and was working he was struggling to clear his math. With a yoe 2.4 I married him who some how could find a job for 9.2k per month where as I was earning 32k in 2014. Had a confidence that some how we will make it. Though ups and downs were there. I was the one who was taking care of rent bills Utility grocery what all you say… his salary would go for his expenses. If it’s not for me he would have never worked for 9.2k . In same company he got a hike from 9.2k - 16.5k … no contribution .
16.5k to 26k … No contribution.
Then next year it got jumped to 26k to 50k… at that time mine have reached somewhere around 73k with 2 switches .. his first switch doubled his salary 1L, then again next switch 1.5L now… though mine is bit higher then him we are doing good.. there were lots of struggles though , scams we faced , It was on my head to clear out…
Point to say this story is, if you want to spend your life with some one if you like that guy you will manage irrespective of ups downs storms… I thought have few complaints to him but I did all that because I was willing to invest in that relationship.. now when is doing really well, if I’m upset with something I don’t feel like living with the same guy..
so moral of the story is it’s all your will.. if you want to you can make it worth..

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If you are able to match your life style with his then you can go for it.

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Even if he earns more or less if he is not a good person by heart and respect u nothing else matters. Time changes every second don't judge a person by his package. Even if a high earning package guy gets laid off in recession u never know.

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Instead of the earning factor, try to match your lifestyle. I have seen enough people who earn 50+ but there’s a huge difference in priorities or lifestyle. I am fortunate enough to have a good life so money is not that important criteria but i would definitely not settle for bare minimum. Also, i don’t have the mindset that man needs to earn more than me.

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Find a person of ur age and higher salary. If possible same profession. First thing is has to treat u well (this alone is not enough for a women to survive as a wife)

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Arranged marriage is just like lucky dip. You might hit on someone who feels genuine on the first meeting but things may not go as they seemed later. Though the kind of person you marry is very important, arranged marriage setup itself does not give us the chance to know that because you simply have not known that person or family before. You are meeting as strangers. Even your parents cannot guarantee the person or family is good because anyone can seem good for the first few meetings. Go for someone earning well and atleast seems genuine as per your instincts. Money matters when you want to afford a certain lifestyle. Rest is luck.

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The only suggestion is to consider his profession, and analyse the growth potential / perks they are getting. If they are in some PSU or goi related jobs, you can meet them, and then decide what you feel is right.

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Hi,
It depends on perspective, if a man is earning more than 40 LPA , will you think same opinion ?
You are valueing money and the commitment towards life ?
Not every sector is offering same package like IT field even though he is in IT, Many factor are there
Don't go with salary you have to think the character how he is committed to his own family, how he managing things without that don't see anything in bare eyes, because earning should not evaluate by the seriousness or commitment

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This thread is so sick 😂😂
Marriage is being decided on the basis of finance

There is a saying never mix finance with insurance

Similarly never mix relationships with finance
You should judge the guys/girl completely on your behavior what type of girl/guys you will be most compatible with.

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Im curious to know if you were in a position to do that and have actually done so. Are you currently financially contributing towards anyone? Obviously we all pay for ourselves but I meant your parents or in laws or basically contributing more money towards household expenses than anyone else in the family? Or are you dating or married someone with whom you have different finances? How did you adjust that gap, do you pay for them or you downgraded your lifestyle to adjust to the new joint family income? Those pointers would definitely be more helpful to people on this thread than blanket advice of only focusing on behaviour.

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Nver base ur decision on temporary circumstances...unfortunately the wage gap increases for women post pregnancy...they guy is yet to reach his peak age which starts at 40 n he is 10 lakhs due to some things..find that reason and then decide

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You are lucky to get an opportunity of job for 22 lpa salary. Many of people are struggling to manage their living.
If the guy has a good family background. He is loyal and understanding and if you think you guys will make a good pair. He will treat both family well. Then go for it

Else don't waste your time considering him.
Gbu

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If you find a partner with common interest and life goals. It won't be a major issue.
Coz some industries dnt pay this much for however good you are at your job.
N money can be managed eventually coz 10lpa isn't a bad amount.

But again, I feel if I am getting in arrange marriage then I should get a Taylor fit guy. Or else what's the use of arrange marriage institution.

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I would suggest you to talk to the guy and understand the reason behind the less salary. Salary is not the matter until the person is caring , understanding and has growth mindset . Person may have focused on different things and thought about carrer progress and salary. Understanding the reason will give you clear idea about person's thought process. And also discuss with him about future plans he has. Consider all the other aspects like family background, his personality and aspirations before finalizing your decision

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Hi dear,

I would say, look at the person, if he is good at heart, mind and hard work, money won’t matter. You are earning anyways. In the world, where we demand equality, why we still want husbands to run the entire household?

A guy who is intelligent and hard working, just needs guidance to switch and increase his package, which you can provide after marriage.

But if money is really a concern for you, then stick to your choice.

Money does not matter everytime..I think your father is right

When my parents got married, my father was not even earning. He was a private school teacher. After 4 to 5 years , my father was earning 3 times more than what my mom was earning. So, it depends.

I am 29 year old earning 11lpa. In am arranged marriage i said yes to marry a guy earning 6 lpa and his in hand salary is 37k and he has a home loan with 25k emi for 19 years. Now i am having doubts on my decision.

Too late

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