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Anonymous User
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Off Topic :
1) When Does a software engineer start financial planning for retirement since the our Career span is only 15-20 years on average.
2) How much and which schemes to invest to mitigate the risk?
3) How much do we need for retirement?
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Chief
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Additional Posts in Depression/Anxiety Talk
Conversation Starter
I feel like I need a good cry
Anyone around who I can vent to?
What do YOU do to get out of your head?
Rising Star
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High schoolers are old enough to read directions. They may not know how to cook, but they’re old enough to learn. You could order meal kit boxes like Hello Fresh or Blue Apron to make it easier for them. (And if you order through Rakuten you can often get a huge discount if you’re a new customer.)
As others have suggested, cash might be a good way to go. Hand them their portion in weekly envelopes and tell them they get to keep whatever is left. I bet they’d learn to budget really quickly.
Also, you can’t let them starve, but you can hand them a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and jelly and tell them they need to live with the consequences of their actions.
Mac and cheese. Pizza rolls, grilled cheese, eggs, hot dogs, soup are all within the realm of even the most hopeless high-schoolers capabilities and your budget
Order them grocery delivery once a week. Pick easy items like salad in a bag, frozen meals, frozen pizza, apples, bananas, lunch meat, bread and cheese. You get to pick the amount spent. Don’t go over what you usually provided.
Cut them off.
They won't starve, they'll come back to you and negotiate understanding their bargaining position better.
Order a meal delivery service for them and take your card back
You don’t HAVE to support your family. Your siblings are your mom’s responsibility. I don’t understand why she has money for traveling abroad but you are supporting your family?
Regardless, your siblings are testing you and also don’t understand the burden you are shouldering. Change your card numbers and buy them groceries that don’t require cooking (apples, bananas, bread, peanut butter, chips and salsa, etc.) and offer them a meal kit like others have suggested. Or order several pizzas and they can reheat slices.
@Author- I’m sorry for your loss and I’m glad we could both help. I just want you to remember you are important too, and even if you keep supporting your family you can still set boundaries and monetary limits. Also, you can’t help anyone if your mental health is in a downward spiral. I hope things get better!
Cut off your card and have them ask you for help to use it. Most banks allow you to lock your card via your mobile app or website easily. Then you can remind them of the budget.
Do you have a question?
Ok
I’m also very stressed at work since it’s public accounting…seeing myself working myself to death while my siblings just spends my hard-earned money without a thought. I really just want to give up on life. I’m not sure what I’m working for anymore. I already told them as well to be more mindful of their spending…they always say ok but then get back into it. Even I don’t use those food delivery apps more than a couple times a month because I wanted to save money…
OP, you are an amazing person. Your siblings might be grumpy about it but you are still helping them if you all make a list and go grocery shopping together. As noted here, there are many things they can make for themselves and they may not like it but it is better than nothing. You are teaching them to budget and figure out how to eat when they go to college
Cut them off
They’re abusing you, it’s not fair to you.
I would go to Costco and buy Costco premade meals for them that they just put in the oven. That would be dinner. Breakfast cereal. Lunch PB&J.
Don’t let them roll all over you, stand up for yourself
Chief
How old are your siblings?
OP I think you have to take hold of your finances at this point. I like to think of my personal finances like that safety warning they give on airplanes where you have to put on your own mask before you can help others. Relating that to finances you should be covering all of your basic necessities, then working at paying off personal debt, then once debt is cleared investing 20% into retirement/savings. Once you are at that level if you want to help out your family so be it but only after you take care of yourself financially first.
Enthusiast
Sending you a big hug!
Maybe limit their options because Doordash is pricey. Also there are tons of food options that only require adding water or milk. It's not the healthiest option. Pinterest also has great ideas on simple affordable meals. There are grocery stores that have precooked meals and you only have to put it in the oven and set a timer.
I understand wanting to take care of your siblings but you definitely have to prioritize self