Hello ladies, I need your advice. I am 32, earning 22 LPA. While searching for a guy in arranged marriage, my parents ask me to consider the guys who are 35+ but don't even earn 10 LPA. According to them, if the person is well educated and has a good family background it should be ok. But I feel these guys are not serious about their careers and if i marry them then all financial responsibilities of running the house would fall on me alone. Is my thought process right or am I overthinking?

Personal preference but you should know nothing lasts forever. When I met my husband in an arranged setup 4 years ago, he made close to half of what I used to make. Today he makes more than I do. Career is a 30 plus year trajectory and some professions have different graphs. IT has high growth early then stagnation. Lawyers and doctors sometimes earn lesser till they build their base but later grow exponentially.
If you ask me, you should consider folks earning 12 LPA and above for practical reasons but do not hold on to “earning more than I do”. Also you should be looking for compatibility and life views. A well educated and good family background doesn’t equal compatible. Basically prioritise compatibility more than other things.

A man's POV :

if I am earning 20+ then why should I go for 32yr old women I deserve young beautiful.

Money is not that much important for men....if a girl is kind and looks average he will choose her even if she is not earning.

ps- if hes kind and compatible don't loose him...

Your thinking is right. Package should be reasonable to years of experience to indicate he can survive, have job in future.

Please marry a person who earns at least the same amount as you. Most of the mens don't like if their wife earns more than them and become more successful than them. They may seem very kind and okay with it now, but that will be main reason for ever building frustration later on. If you marry a career oriented person, he encourages you to succeed in your career instead of spending your time in doing household chores. Arranged marriage is completely based on luck. What is the guarantee that the person who earns less will be more kind? Girl, you deserve more.. Do not settle for less.

You are absolutely right.

It's not about money. Still most of the men not accepting if his wife earns more. They accept the money from her but not willing to accept his wife's gradual success. If she is stubborn in any important decisions which is right they tell she is not respecting since she earns more money.

Other side few men support for the wife's carreer. Getting those kind of patner is a luck:).

The important aspect is of the person is trying hard to earn more surely they will achieve it. Current status not defines anyone.

Find someone at least who matches with the salary not too low than you.

Note: Not all 30+ getting low salary. They only getting decent and high salary.

Tbh MEN are sensitive when it comes to their ego, so would suggest to go for someone who is earning sam Or better..... This way relationship will last longer.. Trust me!

Hi, Please help me with likes so that I can DM

No u r right. Don't settle.

Girl, go with your instincts . In arranged marriage, Anyone can portray themselves as the best to get a yes. Look for someone doing good for themselves for their age and profession. Doesn't matter if he is 30 or 35. A person doing good for themselves is always a plus point. Rest is unpredictable. Whatever happens, don't surrender your hard earned money to your husband from day one. He has to earn your trust for you to pitch in .

I am exactly in the same situation.
I gracefully said no to the guys who are not earning at least close to me.

I am very ambitious and always aspire to think big.

In IT, it is really difficult to get a salary once exp becomes more than 10.

This is my personal experience, I talked with so many guys about the same, they answered comfort zone, and they have fear of being rejected in jbterview. That's why they stayed in the same job.

So, I am also looking for a guy who at least shares the same mindset and earn well as well.

You should look for someone near to equal I believe. If yours is 20+ then his should be maybe at a difference of 2-3L. However if you feel that person has better emotional intelligence and understanding among all the guys you have talked to then 2-3L of difference doesn’t matter. Lastly, if he is capable of 15L then you can judge if he is capable of 20L+ and you can definitely guide him and grow together. If he is with you, your relation with his family will be great.
In my case the difference was 10L and have no regrets.
good luck!

If the guy is good u can consider.. when I got married my husband earns double to me..but within 2-3 years I earn double to him but still I am happy with him because he is the reason behind my success he encourages me and don't have any ego .. I take financial burden more than him but I don't feel it as bad point..after kids whoever can earn more try to get it and give kids best life possible.. so if the guy is gud and don't have any ego if his wife is earning more than him u can always go ahead with such people

I strongly suggest not to do this. Your thinking is right, though the salary difference doesn't matter to you it will definitely matter to him at some point, and you will face a lot of ego issues from his side.
Been there, done that, and it didn't end well!

I believe girls fall for a person whom they can respect... but before that you need to figure out sit your self and ask...
1. How much Money matters to you? Can you compromise.... because equality won't be same.
2.Are you career oriented? Is he career oriented?
which I don't assume he is not otherwise he wouldn't be at a lesser salary.
3. What is the domain he is working on? is it in something where he can grow his money. Because lets assume you try to motivate him to progress ( which i know women like us do) . will he have a chance to increase his income?
4. will you respect him in spite of his position? cause in love things are diff but it's compromising in arranged marriage ...

It's you who has to live your life.. N this is the most imp decision of life.. You cannot take it for the sake of parents or being lonely.

But you should be clear with what compromises you can make and who are non negotiable.

It depends on how true and genuine the person is. I think you can consider guys earning 15 to 20LPA. well the true and genuine part cannot be evaluated in arrange marriage setups.

Don't settle for a guy who is earning less than you, could be amy reason
Personally I wouldn't want this for my sister as well

Financial goals and expenses should be looked as a joint goal for both the partners. I earn 30 lpa and my husband only earns 10 lpa. He doesn't provide me in terms of money, but he provided me with a house in a metro city(no rent), sponsorship for children's tuition, post retirement savings and facilities, and most importantly no assumed expectations of me doing chores(which is added benefit because women these days have to do both because of emotionaloy unavailable partners)
I'd suggest look at your combined earnings and expenses, align on your financial goals. Money is not the only factor in a relationship and as long as both partners are respectful of what each of you brings to the table, you should be sorted.

I think first you need to ask yourself what you want....if you are not ok with someone who is earning less than you then don't go for it, and if YOU are ok then go for it because the only thing that I know is no one here can or will take the brunt of whatever decision you make. You will have to bear it. So you need to ask yourself if you are ok, then all good. There are all kinds of guys who are single, some who earn more some who earn less so if the option is available then why not choose wisely. Lots of girls marry up, some marry guys who don't earn anything but none of this will guarantee that their marriage will be successful or they will be happy or not nevertheless there are a few objective things like education, background, salary, etc. That you can ensure are to your liking so you should definitely create a list of things that are in your control and don't budge from that!! This goes for everything in life that you should first think what you want and if what you want is even remotely justified and/or the alternative is that if you dont do what you want and end up feeling miserable then always do what you want. What is the point of compromise if no one will be happy, not you not the guy you marry then don't compromise. Hope this helps! All the best

At your age and experience, I am sure you have developed a sense of a person. As much as they may portray in initial discussions, you still understand how the person is. So keep that sense open.
About money and earning, would you be okay with a business person instead of salaried ? A business person may not earn as much today but can go either ways in future. For a salaried, there are layoffs nd unemployability as well ..e.g. someone at a very high position at the age of 32+ may not find a similiar position and have to pick something lesser in future.
As someone has said in prior posts, find what are your deal breakers, your absolute no-no s and take a call accordingly. One of the blogs I had seen talked about even checking how orthodox the guy and his family are ! I.e. are you supposed to become untouchable during menstruation, how much forceful are the family about the new person following their beliefs and food habits !
Then again - be prepared to take the risks , build your mitigation plan and take the plunge..

Don't rush to marriage your thinking is somewhat right plus ... Ego clashes

You are competitive and you will expect the same hustling nature with your spouse . Earning women like us are ready to contribute everywhere do housework and balance relationships and homes and with that also there are various labels of patriarchy we have to go through despite of all the education and contribution and being the man of the house . And at end awarded with the tittle of arrogant , non adjusting , high standards , living in dream land etc etc . Financially it’s difficult to buy a home these days and raise a kid . if your spouse is not compatible with you financially ,it will be difficult for you to adjust .

As a society in last 30-40 years we have made our girls progressive and boys not so progressive. Then there will be clashes .

Hey! As a 32 year old female who has been married for 2 years now with someone who earns half of what I earn, I have some information for you that might help. We share financial responsibilities equally- when I say equally I don’t mean 50-50 in terms of the actual amount. We contribute based on how much we can afford to put up against that expense based on our salaries. Apart from finances we also share other responsibilities equally- I take care of things I’m good at and my husband takes care of things that he is good at.
I’m very happy with my partner because prior to getting married we had quite a long, honest and open discussion about everything that makes up a married life- finances, religion, family, lifestyle, career etc. I can assure you if you meet the right person, it wouldn’t matter how much they earn. There are a lot of other ways to contribute towards a happy marriage. Yes, you may find a lot of bad people who would only like to be part of your life for selfish reasons but there are few good ones as well. Don’t let finances stop you from meeting a good person. There’s always room to grow in your career but you can’t change a bad person into a good one. Hopefully this helps! All the best!