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Huge red flag and also alludes to the team culture this hiring manager has most likely created.
Expose the company so we know to steer clear. These mixed messages are so disruptive. Wish you luck!
I had a similar situation at sanofi.
I was living in Philly and working at a research mill, but was hired into a Quality role at Bridgewater.
By the second week they had me driving up 5 days a week and Fridays were half days.
I was staying in a hotel Wednesday nights at my own expense until I found a place. It was a definite sign of things to come, but I rode it out for 3 years and am in a much better position for it. TBH, I’d do it all over again as it was my first sponsor gig and it opened up the next door which led to the next door and so on.
It was pretty weird to be honest, after the first few months. Our functional boss was extremely insecure and tyrannical. I think there was quite a bit going on in the history of her personal background as she was almost trump-like in her demands for homage to be paid and what she perceived as loyalty. She smelled like stale cigarettes masked in perfume every day, so I steered clear of her, which I think she saw as a snub. Her boss didn’t really get involved, so I’m not sure what was known of the unprofessional behavior, but I was playing sports after work with people from HR that knew there were issues in the department. I was the newcomer and the other members of the team were pretty much lapdogs, but as I’d indicated, it was my break into industry so I did my time and moved on. I wasn’t relocating a family and I had a great support network in the company that used to crack up about the weirdness of it all.
Mentor
Do you have the HR terms for relocation written and documented? What is the company policy for relocation? Fairness only comes to play if you are not abiding by the policies. I have little kids as well. Find the policies, and then if you have not turned the wheels maybe rethink. It's not about being onsite or offsite, it's about your manager having consideration! If post move with little kids, things come up! If he is this insane about onsite without relocation, imagine how anal he will be once you have relocated.
Definitely red flag. I also started a new role and have 12 months to relo. My manager works incredibly hard and has high standards but doesn’t micromanage anyone’s time onsite (hybrid). She asked if I might travel once a month for 2-3 days until I relo during summer. I personally chose to go twice a month but will probably cut back to once a month in the two months leading up to my move to get everything settled.
If they want you there 75% of time already, ask them to cover all the costs.
Disconnect between hr and the hiring manager.
Explain the terms you agreed to. Did they offer to fly you out to the location for 2-3 days per week, or every other week? That could be a middle ground
Vertex, is that you? 🤡