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Take up a mindfulness meditation practice that will. Help you pivot from going down these thought processes, journal (get the thoughts down on paper and out of your head), and/or seek out a good talk therapist that will help you cope with these thoughts - and thrive.
Coach
Yeah I’ve been procrastinating therapy. I think I need to just do it. I have a 5 minute gratitude journal but I think I need more to fully express my thoughts out on paper
From what you said, it is this job that is causing you to feel this way. It would help if you could figure out if it’s your manager who is making you feel this way or just the job in general. Do you get scolded for mistakes or unmet expectations often? Are you good at what you do and do you feel pride in your output? Is there something else that you could do to keep the lights on that that is less stressful? I had a job that made me feel awful every day maybe 15 years ago and the day I was let go was the beginning of a new Renaissance for me. I’ve had nothing but happiness and prosperity since that day.
Coach
I would love nothing more than to leave. I think it is the client pressures and tight deadlines and presentations that make me feel so panicked everyday. I feel so stuck with the job market right now though
5 mg of buspar twice daily helped me a lot. I'm also a big fan of somatic therapy and recommend it to anyone struggling with anxiety, ADHD, or OCD. It changed my life within 3 months of starting.
Was considering buspar. Have you tried any others before landing on buspar? I've tried so many other anxiety meds and none have worked
How long have you been doing what you are doing? I think its somewhat normal to feel that way in the beginning and even for a bit especially if you have imposter syndrome. But eventually that anxiety should ease up a bit unless you don't like what you are doing?
Coach
But I’m also unhappy in what I’m doing. I don’t want to be in a position to lead or present. Most days I have panic attacks and I can’t sustain this :(