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Bowl Leader
Therapy. This was my realization at 28. I am your age now and working on fixing my maladaptive tendencies has been life changing, especially after becoming a father. I did weekly but now do every other week.
Before then my only hobby was whiskey and it was also my main way to cope/relieve stress. Now I wouldn’t consider myself an active workaholic and I also gave up drinking and now exercise every week instead - I am stronger than ever, physically, mentally, emotionally. Find what gives you joy but also do the healing work.
But therapy and work on healing your escapes to find more enriching ones. For me it’s running and lifting. I woke up at 4:30am and ran a 5k this morning. I am running multiple races this year and did my first marathon last year. Im also pretty religious so my church and faith has been another great outlet. My kids occupy the vast majority of my time and I am actually present for them.
I am the same age as you. I used to run before law school so I took up running again, joined a run club a year ago and made some amazing friends and my life is like 1000 times better than it was a year ago. It doesn’t have to be running, but finding what interests you and building community in that is what truly changes your quality of life.
If you already like reading, join or start a book club!
It sounds like you need to set some boundaries, and perhaps professional help would be called for. There are any number of things you could be doing for enjoyment, but whatever is going on that won't let you do those things needs to be explored and remedied. You're still young, so it would be good to get some help now before you spend your life torturing yourself for no good reason.
Volunteer. Helping others in need is uplifting. Find a non-profit and share your time, talents, and/or treasures.
Legos
Agree with the above. It’s easy to get trapped in the classic spiral of work, Uber Eats, and participating in consumerism to feel alive. Try to do something active for 30 minutes a day (even if it’s walking to the office) and make a point to do 1-2 social/extracurricular things per week. It helps a lot.
Therapy and remembering what you enjoyed doing before law school and beginning practice.
I agree with much of what has been said already, particularly exercise. Break out of the work circle of hell and keep yourself healthy and busy with something else.
What about art? Any form, really. I fell into a niche genre of music some years ago, and it’s become a big part of my personality and social life. I go to multiple shows a month. A friend of mine is heavily into the ballet theater in our city. She helped organize the yearly fundraising gala. There’s the symphony, comedy, pottery, take your pick. If you find that something like this resonates, you’ll find your tribe.
The trick is being able to put yourself out there for others to see. Scary, yes, but deeply liberating.
I would go to a toy store and buy a toy you lived as a child. Start doing things that made you happy as a kid. For me it was also going to a playground and swinging on the swings. I felt pretty silly. But reconnecting with your inner child does spark you.
Bowl Leader
This is called regression lol and it’s not a healthy coping skill.
Therapy is part of it.
Also sometimes the firm you're at is just not set up to enable a life outside of the job, or it is generally but for whatever reason the partners you work with the most, in particular, aren't willing to help you achieve that balance. So consider the extent to which your issues are self-inflicted (in which case therapy alone will help), and to what extent they're caused by your firm actively preventing you from having healthier habits (in which case therapy will still be immensely helpful in helping you work through why you stayed in that environment for as long as you did given the toll it had on you, but it won't solve the problem that your firm is toxic and that you should evaluate other options).
Do you have a spouse? Kids? Reconnect with their lives. It might be boring at first, but look for happiness and fun, and you’ll be fulfilled.