Chief
Related Posts
Bowl Leader
Can someone refer me to MS?
Thanks in advance🤗
Filed for H1B extension, extension approved till aug-2024 (stamping not done), switched from tcs to infosys before stamping. I have new petition documents with me. Assuming infosys agrees to use my H1B, is there a possibility to file H1B transfer or reuse my visa.? Thanks
Tata Consultancy Infosys
Rising Star
Anyone writing Pete buttigieg’s name in?
Additional Posts in The Worklife Bowl
Chief
Conversation Starter
Enthusiast
Conversation Starter
Last song you listened to.. go!
Conversation Starter
Chief
Pro
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Can you provide a little more context? For example if the person’s constantly interrupting you then just maintain your pace of speech and finish what you wanted to say. Trust the audience that they see he’s a jerk. If he says random off topic comments in meetings say, “let’s stay focused.” And then redirect everyone back to the real topic.
If he’s constantly disagreeing with your approach on something, then I find it helpful to figure out one what you actually need to agree upon. Let’s say you’ve outlined five steps to get something done and he agrees with the first three but for different reasons. Who cares! It doesn’t matter because he’s willing to do the first 3 regardless of the reasons. I would delay confronting about the last two steps until you’re about to complete step 3 because by then the nitwit may what may have changed his perspective, even if he doesn’t want to admit he was wrong before. But who cares if you get to proceed with the last two steps. Again trust the audience people see what’s going on.
I also find a lot of problems can surface when people are not clear on everyone’s roles and responsibilities. Sometimes two people think they’re both responsible for the same thing and other times neither person thinks it’s their job. So really take a careful look at roles and responsibilities to make sure that this isn’t a factor in the drama. I often have to spell out in writing at the beginning of a project or meeting or whatever (I’m in consulting) the role everyone plays, what we expect of them etc. So it might be a good idea to do this ideally in writing (agenda item and meeting minutes you can constantly refer him back to), have your manager do this via email, etc.
The other thing that can cause a lot of problems is definitions of terms. You think something means one thing and he believes it means something totally different. If you can align your definitions of terms that may also help to resolve some of the conflict. Again write it down. Document it and refer him back to it as many times as necessary.
If you need a quick comeback in a meeting and you want to diss what he says and keep on trucking then say “well that may be but …”. Ex well that may be, but we’re going to ship the widgets anyways. You’re not agreeing. You’re not wasting time on him. And you’re overriding him. Just keep saying it like a broken record if he won’t stop.
Never change your answer if that is your answer. You don’t need to say it again a different way. In fact, I find if he asks you a question or makes a comment … and you answer or respond … and then he asks the same question or makes the same comment again… the absolute worst thing you can do is change your answer, even in the slightest. It just encourages him to do it again. So just say word for words your original answer or copy paste your original reply. Do not change it at all. Very few people will go back a 3rd time and if he does just laugh in his face and say “I’ve answered that twice already and I’m not changing my answer no matter how many times you ask me.” Then redirect the conversation to something else.
Finally, just imagine that he’s a three year-old. If he doesn’t get his way, he’ll pout or possibly throw a fit. You’re the adult and you’re not going to react to that behavior. You do what needs to be done, say what needs to be said, and then REDIRECT the conversation. You should be able to predict when he’s going to act like this so that you can prepare yourself and your one liners in advance.
Good luck. It absolutely sucks working with people like this.
yuck- that’s so annoying. He sounds like he’s trying to control the professional relationship. He’ll continue to push harder in hopes you go back to your old ways. Stay strong. Stay firm. He will get the message, but only if you keep those boundaries firm . Be professional, but don’t give him a second thought. And don’t give him any undue attention. You got this! 💪🏻
Chief
You abide by the boundaries you set. If they cross them, you call them out on it.
It takes 2 to tango. Being a grey rock with boundaries could be healthy but consider it maybe is coming off inflexible and non communicative to this other person. Have a mature conversation focused on shared goals, collaboration and compromise rather than stonewalling them.