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Hello all, I am learning DSA on scalar. My only dream company is Microsoft .for me package and level doesn't matter. Just development role so minimum sde 1. And optional if possible wfh. I have 7 years of experience in DOTNET. I am NOT much confidence in DSA. So I need help and guide and support how can I join Microsoft. Right now possible? as I am already learning DSA and not much salary requirements. So can they take me as sde 1. Any view and guidance help to impossible to possible.
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Anyone willing to refer to Abbvie?
Please dm me.
How is the hike and bonus guys
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Had the same issue with a previous Manager related to covering visits that required travel.
“Just because I’m not a parent doesn’t mean I do not have a life and responsibilities.”
No. (it’s a full sentence)
Did you end up leaving?
Absolutely not. This is the start of them testing how much bullshit they can put you through. Just because you don’t have kids doesn’t mean you don’t deserve your own personal time. There are plenty of people without kids that care for aging parents, nieces and nephews, etc. I am saying this as a parent, btw. Your free time should NEVER be measured against someone else’s - that’s unethical - you didn’t choose to have kids (ever/yet); this doesn’t mean your time means less than someone’s who does have kids.
Of course, there can be extenuating circumstances occasionally, like maybe covering for someone because it’s their kid’s birthday m, etc. - but that needs be be reciprocal regardless of kids/no kids (i.e., I’m sure you have loved ones with birthdays) and should be an exception, not a rule. Also, trying to force someone to do something probono?! Hard pass
Heck no unless it’s gonna be a good opportunity for career advancement or some other benefit to you.
Obviously there may be nuances to this that we are unaware of, but trust your gut and don't feel the need to explain yourself. I think you can certainly say you appreciate the offer and just leave it at that. I wouldn't mention your mental health or anything else because they might use it against you. They don't know what else you might have going on, and you are not obligated to tell them. ...Maybe you choose your own pro-bono projects. Maybe you care for elders, etc, they don't know and you don't need to say anything to defend your choice.
Mentor
Not being in a relationship or having kids does not make your personal time theirs to take. 100% say no - it will also help to cut off a slippery slope of these kinds of asks. Also, assuming you're in the US, if they won't stop pushing it, tell them family/parental status is a protected class, and it's illegal for them to try to use your situation against you (because it is).
You take it to HR as discrimination.
100% this
say you are working to stop being single and have kids. for that you need your weekends and evenings
It’s illegal for a company to make you work with no pay. You have every right to say no to this “volunteer” opportunity.
Your managers are in no position to say, “you have no excuse.” They don’t know your personal life and it’s highly inappropriate, unprofessional, and disrespectful to make a comment like that. You don’t need to give them any reason or excuse. You can simply say, “no im not available during non-business hours.” And that’s it. No one should question you further as that’s none of their business.
Also, I would start looking for a new job. This company sounds like they don’t value work life balance and have unreasonable expectations of their employees to work for free. Huge red flag and creates a toxic work culture.
I agree with CVS Health 1. They are testing to see how much you’ll put up with. Their reason to push this on you is prejudicial and inappropriate. I’m an empty nester so does that mean my work can pile a bunch of work on me? No.
Just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you don't have a private life. That's so stupid. Tell them that you are already overworked and you don't have the capacity. They can't force you to work for free
If you really don’t want the opportunity I would just say I am very grateful for the opportunity, but I need my down time to focus on my mental health, and prefer a work home balanced life so that I do not feel like I’m burning the candles on both ends of the stick.
Wow this is offensive!!
Hi!
You don´t need an “excuse” nor do you need to justify yourself for your after-work decisions.
There´s nothing more important than your wellbeing.
They can have their own opinion on the situation, that’s totally their own thing. I would make it clear how I appreciate the opportunity but at the current moment dont have a capacity to take that extra responsibility on me, and how I´m happy to revisit the idea in a few month time.
Coach
Wow. This is definitely messed up.
Agreed with others, dont take it if you dont want it. Be firm and document the outcome. Make sure you have the ask, their expectations (mentioning the lack of kids), and the outcome clearly written in some type of follow up email. This way if they ever try to use it for performance reasons you can share the documentation with HR and argue against any performance implications being raised...
I don’t believe you owe an explanation. What you choose to spend time on outside work is your prerogative. For all they know, you have volunteer work that fills your soul (and time). The answer is, “thanks for thinking of me. Unfortunately my plate is full right now. “
No mention of mental health or anything else. Set your boundaries and be okay with it. How they respond is their responsibility. Good luck!
Start looking for a new job. The fact that they think you should take on unpaid work because you don’t have obvious family obligations is toxic AF. For all they know, you’re a caregiver to an ill parent.
Do you see any value in this opportunity at all? It’s all about what you want. You shouldn’t be guilted into taking this, but just know should your situation in the future change ( you have kids) , it will be in reality much harder to take on such things . So if you see any value in this, I would consider it.
Nope. You can say you have other commitments and cannot take this on. You don’t need to give ANY detail. If possible, get what they are saying in writing so you can go to the EEIC and employment attorney and sue them. Lastly, run as fast as possible from this job.
I see comments to quit or do something extreme. Please don't do anything of that until you try finding a solution you're comfortable with given the current market.
If this was me and I wasn't interested or not available, I would say the following:
"Thank you for considering me for this volunteer engagement. It sounds like a great opportunity for X and Y reason with all transparency given the requirements of time and commitment outside working hours, I don't think I'm in the right place to volunteer. I can see why many may think I have bandwidth based on assumptions from basic information people know about me. However, at this time, there are other commitments that I'm unable to break as I've committed to them and want to see them through. I'm more than happy to help and if you can spare me 1 or 2 hours during the working hours to dedicate to this project, I'll just need your help to prioritize and adjusting my work while you while my time is being volunteer to the project as I don't want to be stretched and drop the ball. if it's not feasible, then maybe we can revist in 6 to 8 months my ability to counter volunteer."
It's hard at times to say no to outside projects to a leader because they hold your career advancement in your hands. In addition, it sucks that you've are being asked because of your lifestyle (that's not wrong). Before you go jumping on saying they are bad managers, you got to remember when they were advancing their career this was a thing, not that excuses them. However, some still have learning to do. They are only toxic when you have had a conversation and set boundaries. Yes, there are other leaders who are more self-aware and don't behave this way, but it is learning.
I guess what I'm trying to say is communicate with your manager before jumping to conclusions.
if you came to vent... I'm sorry for my recommendation. I get it.. it sucks when people make assumptions based on limited information. I've been lucky that my personal choices have not been a reason to do more work.
We are both on the same boat.... however, for some, it's hard... my approach is given to them the opportunity without being overly direct, which is how OP is communicating. No matter if we tell her to say just no, she is not going to feel too comfortable. This is another way, bonus, you are also letting manager know don't volunteer me or assume i can or want because I'm single age child free. Im also saying hey I want to but must be during working hours and how many are you giving up for me to do this and are you reducing my work otherwise i can't. again, without being overly direct but helping then think.
The saying "you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" applies if you're trying to have a good relationship with your manager, regardless of gender.
Whaaat? When we do pro bono in McKinsey it’s within the normal working hours, not in parallel with a client engagement. Don’t think that McKinsey is the god of work life balance, it’s not. But this suggestion to you is completely absurd.
Excuse me?? My personal life doesn't play a factor into my workload. "While I appreciate you thinking of me, I am not able to take on more work without proper compensation"